My neighbours are a bunch of wankers

Barfoot and Thompson in Howick sent every house in our street a letter. The letter proposed that we provide information about ourselves that they would collate and then create a streeet directory in a get to know your neighbour initiative. They also provided a return envelope and some scratchies for taking the time to complete the form. Oh and also they were going to organise a street BBQ as a get together.

Now I know Barfoots would have used some of this information for their own purposes but you gave as much or as little information as you wanted. Plus any information about properties they already have.

We thought this was a good initiative as it would let neighbours know things like Mrs Miggins is a nurse and Dr Bob lives at number 29 or even that Steve the plumber lives at 37 and shit I just need plumber right now.

But ohhhh no, not our fricken neighbours. No way Jose were they going to participate. In fact a lot of them complained and wrote letters. What a bunch of plonkers.

So no BBQ, no street directory and I just bet that every single person who complained scratched their scratchie…arseholes.

I also bet that one of the complainers was the fuckwit who lives down the road and makes it his personal mission in life to be the classic nosey neighbour. He wanders around asking impertinent questions frequently and hold you up when out walking with said nosey and impertinent questions.

What has happened to our society when neighbours don’t interact. I for instance keep Mrs Next-Door’s, who is 90-ish not out, jungle from consuming her house and I fixed her letter box when the hoodlums next door to her smashed it. Oh and I accosted the hoodlums and made them apologise to Mrs Next-Door and pay for my letter box. Their mother was most grateful when I dragged their sorry asses to her front door to tell her what they had been doing at night.

It is sad that the rest of my neighbours are complete wankers, including the one who decided to poison my Eucalytpus….yes I know who you are.