Hubbard scares punters at Foodtown

A good friend of mine rung me today to tell me about a horrific episode he witnessed whilst shopping at Foodtown Quay Street on the weekend.

As he drove into the Quay Street Foodtown carpark he noticed a tall, rather awkward looking person with the body of a half-sucked throatie astride a multi-speed bicycle. People seemed to be avoiding this person.

Upon closer inspection my friend found the person with the bike was no other than His Worship the Mayor of Auckland desperately trying to get anyone to recognise him.

It would have been difficult as he was fully decked out in bike riding gear. The helmet complete with ears sticking out, the tight fitting shirt, the even tighter shorts, which may have accounted for the passers-by hurrying quickly past.

My friend tells me that intially he thought Hubbard had a large hose stuffed down his cycling shorts but when it became apparent what it really was he too scuttled off hiding the sight from his childrens eyes, leaving the Mayor looking like some sort of flasher desperately trying to gain attention, and in his case anyones attention as everyone quickened their stride and averted their eyes.

I don't think wearing shorts like that and calling out in his Mr Bean voice "Hullo, I'm the Mayor" helped one little bit.

Foodtown Quay Street couldn't be reached for comment on whether their turnover had suffered a rather peculiar downturn on Sunday or not.