Parliamentary Smackdown

Here are some exchanges from parliament with some very good smackdowns.

The first one is a Jonathon Coleman smackdown on Winston.

[quote]Dr JONATHAN COLEMAN
Members can tell that what I was saying was hitting the nail right on the head, because Sue Moroney immediately rose to take a point of order. It shows that we are right on the button.

We heard a wide-ranging speech from the Minister of Foreign Affairs. He was talking about embassies in Stockholm and what happened in the 1990s, but I can tell members that the people of New Zealand are concerned about what is happening in New Zealand today. They are worried about the real concerns of real New Zealanders, such as filling up the gas tank at the petrol station. [Interruption] These interjections from the Minister of Foreign Affairs are the best reason I have heard yet for us to install breathalysers in the lobbies. We heard all this stuff. He had his head in the wine box during that speech. [Interruption] Here we go. I knew this would happen.

Rt Hon Winston Peters
I raise a point of order, Mr Chairperson. I tell that member that I want an apology right now, and if I do not get it I will nail about four of his colleagues. If that is the kind of conversation-

The CHAIRPERSON (H V Ross Robertson)
Order!

Rt Hon Winston Peters
The member cannot make that sort of comment.

The CHAIRPERSON (H V Ross Robertson)
Is the member raising a point of order?

Rt Hon Winston Peters
That man said something totally defamatory that if it were said outside this Chamber would be libellous. He is not going to get away with it. I tell him that either he apologises now, fulsomely, or I will nail four or five of his colleagues and he will be responsible. If he wants to throw that sort of dirt, he is going to get it back and in double measure.

The CHAIRPERSON (H V Ross Robertson)
If the member made any defamatory remarks and exception has been taken, then he should withdraw and apologise.

Dr JONATHAN COLEMAN
I withdraw and apologise. We have to sit here all the time and hear stuff about cigars and cigar smoke, but when we give a little bit of dirt back to a member who has been sitting here for 30 years, he is on his feet, whingeing and complaining, and crying to the Chair. Is it not amazing? I would have thought that after 30 years a member could sit there and grin and bear it, and take what comes his or her way in a robust debate.[/quote]

Second is Lockwood Smith smacking Winston around.

[quote]Dr the Hon LOCKWOOD SMITH
I guess that member would know because he always told this Parliament that all he wanted to be was the MP for Tauranga. Well, I can tell my colleagues that Winston never told the truth about that. He wanted to be the MP for Kaipara.

Rt Hon Winston Peters
I raise a point of order, Mr Chairperson. There are some people around this country who are not known, and never will be known, and some who are known by his or her first name. I happen to be one of them, but he cannot use it in this Chamber.

The CHAIRPERSON (H V Ross Robertson) Link to this
Thank you, Mr Peters. All I can say is that there has been a good exchange between both sides.

Dr the Hon LOCKWOOD SMITH
Let me call him the Rt Hon Winston Peters. He always told New Zealand he only ever wanted to be the MP for Tauranga. What a lie. In 1983 he-[ Interruption] I said that statement was a lie. In 1983 he went for the nomination for selection for Kaipara and-

Rt Hon Winston Peters
I raise a point of order, Mr Chairperson. Just so the public might know, there is a bill before the Committee. That is the subject being discussed. But the member has lost the plot entirely just because of an interjection that he is the only one in this Chamber who can eat a block of cheese sideways. He got all upset and now he is running through my brilliant political career. Now I know it is scintillating but it is not part of the debate in this Chamber.

The CHAIRPERSON (H V Ross Robertson)
I think we have had our fun for the morning.

Dr the Hon LOCKWOOD SMITH
Let me just finish the story, to make sure the Rt Hon Winston Peters does not miss out any bit of it. Of course, he got thrashed in the selection for Kaipara, he did not even take me to a final ballot, and with his tail between his legs he limped off to Tauranga and tried to con the people there that all he wanted to be was the member for Tauranga.[/quote]

Lastly we have Tau Henare wrestling with some bloke called Steve.

[quote]Hon Steve Chadwick
Tell us about Working for Families.

Hon TAU HENARE
That is the head witch of the coven over there-the leader of the coven. She asks me to talk about Working for Families. Well, let us talk about the $690 million – odd that the Government paid for a clapped out railway that does not even run. There are no trains in Rotorua, there are no trains in Gisborne, and there are no trains up north. Where are
the trains?

Dr the Hon Lockwood Smith
There’s one a week.

Hon TAU HENARE
Oh, sorry, there is one a week. And the Government says that this is a great taxation bill! The Government bought the little train set-the little Tonka toys; I wonder who the Fat Controller was-and earmarked new embassies in Switzerland, and all over the place.
Just those two things add up to a billion dollars.[/quote]

Outstanding smackdowns.

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