I Spy with my little eye, I see a Pig telling a lie

Pork Chop is a liarWhile Pork Chop aka Rachel Glucina may be all upset about someone setting up a fake Twitter account and using the HoS lawyers to try, vainly, to heavy Twitter they should perhaps get the lawyers to look a little closer to home at their columnist and her two little lies in this weeks column.

Whaleoil’s spies scoured the MTV awards looking for the piece of pork we like to call Pork Chop and she was nowhere – as in NO WHERE. They walked the red carpet for an hour, worked the entire NZ media area – of which they had names and locations of who was to be where and she was NO WHERE. When they were put in what is called a holding area and taken to an area deemed the ‘glamour pit’ for VIPS and media for the actual awards ceremony. Once again NO WHERE.

My snitches swear they were sober the whole night and specifically on the lookout for her, and lets face it an arse the size of hers is a very difficult thing to hide. They even had a dog team out looking for her, like a whole crew of Jake the Muss’ going pig hunting.

Our spies even stayed till all hours at the after party, hung out with all the kiwis and NO WHERE. The kiwi crew were asked rather pointedly “is that fat c**t here?” No, they said she wasn’t. Our WOBH team circulated and circulated looking for that thing and it was NO WHERE.

Where was the missing pig? Why has Pork Chop written not one but two pieces about flying on Air New Zealand to the show and about the show when after exstensive investigations it apears she stayed in the hotel room and destroyed the room service menu?

While we are talking of making shit up, Spy also had a full page “scoop” of the new look Donna Awatere-Huata….WRONG! It isn’t. The photo is of some slapper who works in the homo clothes shop called Masons at 179 Ponsonby Road. If Pork Chop had bothered to even try to find out some details she would have known this and known too that her name is something silly as well, therefore qualifying her to claim Silly First name Syndrome. Her first name is unpronoucable and would score big in Scrabble.

Plus there are the obvious things that no amount of Plastic Surgery can hide, the hands, the legs, and the wattle….you know the wobbly bit on the neck that turkey’s have. The hands are those of a younger woman and no 60 year old woman could possibly have legs looking like after she was as big as she used to be. Pork Chop has got it so wrong she should be sued.

This weeks Spy is an EPIC FAIL! Based almost entirely on falsehood. Certainly the two full page articles about the MTV awards and Donna Awatere-Huata are entirely a fiction dreamed up from Pork Chops mind. Our spies tell us she wasn’t in attendence at the MTV awards despite availing herself of paid for flights and accommodation and she has got it dead wrong on the identity of the capsicum shopper in Ponsonby.

The HoS lawyers will be praying hard come Monday morning. It is time for someone to take The HoS to task for supporting this blatent liar. I’d start with the photo they use of her and then move onto the “making shit up” allegations. Pork Chop’s taudry rag has become a liability.

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