Christchurch Reflections

WOBH had a rather pleasant trip to the Socialist Republic of Christchurch, which, despite its reputation seems to be far less socialist than the socialists want you to believe.

While enjoyable, i did find myself the victim of some alcohol related violence. A rather silly man, who has the misfortune to be married to very dead, very racid mutton dressed up as mutton, took exception to me saying what a broad cross section of the party were thinking. I know it was the view of a broad cross section of the party as I scarcely purchased a drink all weekend.

This alcohol related violence seems to be something of problem in the socialist republic, if the conversation I had with a very knowledgable copper has anything to go by.

Apparently the bar owners in the socialist republic expect the tax payers of New Zealand to subsidise their very late night operations so they can make a vast profit, with policing costing well over $100,000 a weekend, without thinking of the opportunity cost that comes from not nicking proper crims due to dealing with drunks. WOBH objects strongly to troughing of all kinds, and these bar owners
need to stop sucking the public tit and start paying for the policing. As well as the clean up.

After being accosted WOBH felt a little victimised (ok, not much), especially since the mood of the party had been accurately predicted. And was the truth. So this involved heading down to a less salubrious bar to pick up the mood of the people.

The mood was very, very interesting. Obviously if Crusher was a bloke and the socialist republic awarded knighthoods then Crusher would be the first in line. Paula Bennett is a star for standing up to the “entitlement culture” where the NZ tax payers have their money pissed away on benefits to people that seem to think that sucking on the state tit for life is a legitimate occupation.

Locally, proven liar and ever expanding former Labour cabinet minister Lianne Dalziel does not have much support for her bid for the Mayor of Christchurch. Good on honest working folk seemed to be pretty disillusioned with the left who raised rates, spent it on non core council business and generally frittered away the chance to fix up Christchurch’s infrastructure. And did i mention lying?

Unfortunately the current Mayor of Christchurch took a sickie so didn’t attend conference so WOBH could not pitch him for work as a social media consultant. Mayor Bob obviously has a sound track record in the media but WOHB is better at social media than
just about anyone. And obviously the lawyer who is his own counsel has a fool for a client, so hopefully the mayor will take on Orca Social Media.

Apparently the current Labour Party MP for Christchurch Central, noted chateaux owner, wine producer and confirmed chardonnay socialist, Lord Burns of Malborough is finding the going a bit tough. Lord Burns apparently is quite good on the theory of the common man, but a bit less competent at representing him as he is, well, common. Even in polite company. And the lumpenprolitariat seem completely disinterested my Lord Burns, his pro tem leader and policy platform. Lord Burns of Malborough may well be wishing he
chose to remain at the chateaux in Malborough sipping chardonnay with Lady Philippa, who is finding the going rather tough away from the chateaux despite the parliamentary perks and an rather indulgent shopping budget.

In fact i was struck by the number of people that thought Labour had missed a trick by moving on Tim Barnett, who although a trougher and shirt lifter seemed to be respected by many of socialist republic’s working class. This was interesting, as it shows being an out there pooftah is no real barrier in todays political environment, and in fact many of the working men talked to found lesbians downright fascinating. Common ground across all classes in the socialist republic may have been found.

This may mean dungaree wearing Maryan Street may not find too many objections to her running on the West Coast, except from former west coast MP Damien O’Connor. Damien is the bloke that got off side with the sisterhood for playing rugby, or something similar, so when the west coast foresook it’s Labour roots and gave him the arse he missed out on getting back on the list – thus proving the rule that under the sisterhood there was no role for a straight white male in the modern Labour Party.

There was a league team across from the coast and in informal poll showed they were all fascinated by lesbians, and felt that a hot lesbian had a great chance on the coast. WOBH chose not to disillusion them, but did point out that a former academic and general trough snuffler may find it hard to relate to those on the coast in the same way that M’Lord Burns is struggling in the centre of the socialist republic.