Labour's Deadwood Problem

Labour has a problem and it is a problem that may well beset them for some time to come. The problem is their deadwood. These long in the tooth troughers are hanging in there for all its worth, clinging to the mistaken belief that the electorate was just a bit crook in 2008 and that it will come right.

They are wrong of course and in hanging around for 2011 and possibly 2014 they run the risk personally and for the party of electoral oblivion.

Basically though, at some stage fairly soon many Labour MPs will realise that opposition MPs are scum, there are a lot of highly ambitious people coming up the ranks, and they don’t have a shit show of getting the perks of being a cabinet minister any time soon. If they don’t go in 2011 they will move on in 2014. Let’s look at the dead wood and their prospects, electorally or otherwise.

Lianne Dalziel, Christchurch East, majority of 5765 – What next for this sad old proven liar? She can’t run for Mayor of Christchurch after repeated public pledges not to unless she is of course a liar, which we know she is.

Pete Hodgson, Dunedin North, majority of 7155 – Few employment opportunities in Dunedin, but perhaps an ideal socialist to go to some irrelevant, expensive international organisation to tell us how to live our lives.

Parekura Horomia, Ikaroa-Rawhiti, slim majprity of 1645 – Highly regarded fixit man in Maoridom before going into parliament. Since then he has achieved only the diminishment on a daily asis of the pie supply to Bellamys. Probably will pick up work without difficulty.

Luamanuvao Winnie Laban, Mana, majority of 6155 – A good woman who may hang on.

Ross Robertson, Manukau Eas, majority of 12445 – Well past his used by date but what next? He prefers to live in Clevedon some 20 kms from his crime-ridden electorate.

George Hawkins, Manurewa, majority of  6726 – Due for retirement, no redeeming abilities, recognised as worst Police Minister in some while.

Ruth Dyson, Port Hills, majority of 3452 – Another destined to go to some useless international organisation where they sit around drinking chardonnay (and boy does she enjoy that) and tell us how to live our lives while we pay them. Remember not to drive home afterwards Ruth.

Clayton Cosgrove, Waimakariri, only just won with 390 majority –  Plughead may not want to move on because he loves the brawl that is parliament, even if Crusher does put the fear of Christ into him every time he stands to whimper a question. But he is one of the more capable (ie not a total bludger who has lived his life on handouts) Labour MPs so may be welcomed into the business community. May not too because the business community probably got more than a C+ in economics and he only got that because the marker felt sorry for the bald guy with the comb over.

Rick Barker, List -Couldn’t even win what should be a safe Labour seat but because of the antics of Cunliffe will never be for some time. For an ex union hack did a pretty solid job of staying out of the media and delivering some big capital projects in courts. Skills in delivering infrastructure projects may be welcome in the real world, but I suspect not.

Steve Chadwick, List – Hard to see her beating Boris, or contributing anything useful in parliament. Similarly hard to see her contributing anything useful in the private sector, so she may have to be pensioned off with Dyson and Hodgson so she can continue to tell us how to live our lives. This time without the burden of having to be elected by a bunch of ignorant voters that don’t know what is good for them.

Darien Fenton, List – Likely will not be noticed if she leaves. Definately showing the wear and tear of a life long addiction.

Sue Moroney, List – Definitely will not be noticed if she leaves. Didn’t even notice she was there to be honest.

Damien O’Connor, List – Likely to get run out of town by the sisterhood who want one of their own on the coast, even if she isn’t a proper coaster and hasn’t got a shit show of winning. Good bloke and may actually end up getting a job doing something useful.

Lynne Pillay, List  – In the same category as Fenton & Moroney and without the talent to snag a position overseas like Hodgson & Dyson.

With a talent pool as shallow as a carpark puddle Labour are in deep trouble. Right now they struggle to be relevant to anyone but their lickspittles and as time marches on even that is going to be hard to sustain.

Right now Labour look like challenging Bill English for the record low that he set in 2002. For the country’s sake I hope they do.

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