A Victim writes

I received this email a short time ago. I was moved by the letter and have decided to publish it. I have permission to post it from the author. It certainly puts the real victim’s dilemma right in front of you to consider not some liberal wishy-washy hand-wringers thoughts about how victims need to be protected. To the author, you are a brave woman and I admire your tenacity. Kia Kaha. The email is unedited.

I just wanted to say I am thinking about you and hoping that the courts see sense and that you don’t end up in jail.

I am a sexual abuse victim.? Because I blocked it out I don’t remember how old I was when it started but it was somewhere between age 7-11, after I met his daughter and before we moved to a different town.? I do remember everything he did though.

When I think about it now, if I had told everyone his name back when he went to court and was found ‘not guilty’ because his daughter lied and said he didn’t do anything to us, I would have gotten away with it because I was only 12/13 yo at the time.? I could have put posters all over the place with his photo and name on them.? I wish I had known what I do now, back then.? Having a Christian policeman as a father didn’t help… He wouldn’t have told me because he cares too much about not breaking the law.? Not about what I was going through.

Now that I have a family (husband and two girls) I wouldn’t want to risk going to jail.

I know he didn’t have name suppression as he was found not guilty.? If? he was found guilty then he most likely wouldn’t have name suppression because he was an ordinary person.? Not a famous musician or comedian.

I’m glad I found out their names.? Thankfully I never had an interest in either of them.? I never listened to the musicians music because it’s crap.? I can’t believe though, that he went to the same high school as me and is the same age.? I didn’t know him though.

And I never watched the comedian on TV.? But I have to say his stuff was crap too.

Name suppression laws are not to protect the victim.? That’s a load of crap and they all know it. It’s to protect the offender.? So they don’t lose their job etc.? If the name suppression order was put in place to protect the girl who was sexually assaulted by the prominent NZ musician then her name wouldn’t have been mentioned.? But we all know her name.? The name suppression was put in place so (you know who) wouldn’t lose his job and career etc.? Now the girl will be left feeling like he hasn’t been punished for what he did and that everyone thinks he didn’t do anything wrong and that she was in the wrong.? As for the 4yo who was sexually assaulted by the NZ comedian – well what do they think she needs to be protected from exactly?? They are basically saying she should be ashamed of what happened to her and that people will attack her character or kids will tease her about what happened to her when it wasn’t even her fault!? She will end up feeling guilty and dirty about it instead of being surrounded by supportive family/friends that will help her heal.

And everyone is left wondering who these offenders were, and doubting every single male NZ musician and comedian.

I’m just waiting for the girl who was assaulted by the musician to kill herself and then the blood will be on the courts hands.

The scumbags who committed these acts shouldn’t have been drunk in the first place.? It is no excuse anyway.? If they couldn’t handle the alcohol then they shouldn’t have been drunk.? And when will courts stop letting people get away with stuff like this because they were pissed?? They don’t let drunk drivers get away with murder when they hit and kill someone with their car.

The whole justice system is a bunch of crap.? They should omit the word Justice because there is none!

The victims (like myself) are left angry and bitter because they didn’t get justice. And then on top of that they have to prove to ACC they have a mental illness now to get counselling.? Why should we have to pay for counselling for something that wasn’t our fault?

In every case where the offender is found guilty/pleads guilty they should take the money for the victims counselling from them.? And it should be unlimited.? Make them pay for what they did.? Give them a life sentence instead of the victim. Then ACC only has to pay for the counselling of victims where the offender wasn’t found guilty.

Like the victims don’t already have enough to deal with!

For all the people in the world that believe sexual abuse does not damage you for life – all I have to say to them is “I hope it happens to you”.? Karma.

If you wish to put my email on your blog that is fine with me.? Just make it anonymous.? And feel free to edit it – I know my English/writing skills are nowhere near as good as yours.