Well I had to attend the Auckland District Court today.

Just to recap the cops issued me with 5 summons at 8:30pm on Christmas Eve Eve after all the law firms had shut for the holidays. The Court was also closed during this time so apart from some small court appearance on the new Years eve, I know this because the timetable was still up when I arrived most of the people were like me charged just before Christmas or during the break.

As I said I was served a summons, it said 0830 for today. My old lady who was a JP and used to sit on the bench said this was a strange time but I wasn’t willing to take a risk so got there just before 0830. It was a fricken graveyard. Then a court officer padded along and posted the details of who was in what court room and at what times. Court was supposed to start at 0900 and I was on the list alphabetically for sometime after 0930.

There were basically 3 types of people waiting. The first were ‘P’ up losers looking like derro’s lining up for the duty solicitors. They knew exactly what they were doing and trying to do it in as fast a time as possible. I didn’t know that at the time and nor did the majority of people sitting there waiting. It was even unclear who the Duty Solicitors were or what to do.

The second type of person was the people with poor english skills. Basically the way I see it they were there charged with various different minor offences because they don’t understand the nuances of things like questions asked in the negative. Sure they speak english, they even claim to understand it but very quickly you find out that simply isn’t the case. I would bet you any amount you care to mention that we could empty our prisons of a fair amount of people wrongly convicted because they didn’t understand what they were saying and they were poorly represented.

The third type were the normal everyday kiwi, they were up on drink driving or disorderly charges or one guy who was there because he allegedly breached some name suppression.

Oh and there was the “comedian” who we can’t name. He didn’t like my suggestion to replace him at the party or the show.

A duty solicitor came out after the court started sometime around 0930, which is exactly what the old lady said. She called out to everyone some court jargon and was met by blank stares. I finally asked what exactly she was saying in words of one syllable so everyone new precisely what she meant. Once explained there was a sea of hands.

The the prosecutor came out to speak to me, I still don’t know why he wanted to talk to me but I feigned disinterest in what he had to say. I don’t think he expected what I did in the next 90 seconds though.

I was called and went in and told the Duty Solicitor what I wanted and was granted it given a slip of paper with my next appearance date and walked out. That was it. I had Remand without plea for two weeks to seek legal advice. Some repeaters mistakenly have reported that I was out on bail, but since this isn’t an offence that carries a prison term that simply can’t happen. So back to court on the 19th. Hopefully I will have sorted a barrister by then.

My impression of the court system for people on first appearance is that it was about as organised as a free for all piss up at a South Auckland pub on Friday night.

Then I went down stairs and was met by about 30 repeaters and camera guys and photographers.

Here is the results of all that.

NZ Herald




Stuff (Video at stuff)

Eat that Farrar, Every news channel is covered including NZPA which I don’t have access to. I don’t think this is going the way it was supposed to. Although I can’t help wondering if it is pure coincidence that I appeared the very same day as the “Comedian” also appeared. Part of me thinks that was a stitch up.