Two can play that game Pork Chop

Gotcha! and WOBH? have been leaked these exclusive emails between Herald on Sunday staffers Rachel “Pork Chop” Glucina and Carolyne “Minger” Meng-Yee.

Minger; Yo Pork? Nice column today, fucking loved it sister. Irish needs a peg down. Dang chick too hot at present.

Pork: yep twas a good one Mum and Henri loved it, took us three hours to write but (Richard) Worth it baby! We run Aucks.

Minger; yep but next time you are at my house make sure you leave the door open. Mike’s having trouble getting past the fold out to the bedroom. Big jumpn. Pulled hammy last time, out of action for 3 weeks. You know how much I like Valentine’s Day. Comin up. He still brings home da bacon and you like eatin’ it. Cool.

Pork; cool as beatch. Drew had issues parking in the garage, bit hard to get by the wheelie bins. May have knocked neighbourz ova. Sorry.

Minger; you reckon I could be the new HOS editor? They rckon B1 is in running, fark Drinnan interview da keyboard. He’s ed I’m in for chop aren’t I?

Pork: well Drew’s trying hard beatch as Shayne was so good 2 us, liked the chocolate cakes, Valentine’s got me dat new show on TVNZ. Peaking baby. We r hot. Today HOS 2moro da TV. Promise to look afta u gfriend. Stick close, I’m on up!

Minger; heard anything from Mollies lately about town?

Pork: Nah, not since H’s got it up the chook from Jack. Saza to shut it about town, not good about the 8’s. They visited last week.

Minger; oh, ok den. Cool az. Don’t wanna upset Holmesy, bit bad bout the carpark thing, who da fuck is dis Whaleoil?

Pork: no worries, I will sort him out Chopping style. Andre Giant and all. Fuck ’em. Tracking his facebook.

Minger; so who ya doing l8ly baby? Sure in ur powa u could get a man?

Pork: I rckon Brooke is in4 it lately baby. Needs the pubz now he’s in retail. I thought he owned da bar?

Minger; yep good story there. I reckon Val. Day we need a catch up. Come round, tell Drewsta to pick you up at 10. Have friends over for the Valentine so need to be on B. behaviour.

Pork: O for it keep it coming, high five for low rise. Mike’s a sweetie really, u r so lucky. Keep it comin’

Minger: reckon Ali’s up for it! Fark. Chicks for life, if she’s hopping it I tell you what, Mike V’s on kerb. I’d put leg ova!!

Pork: yep, she’s got great legs, I’d be up for it! Who wouldn’t turn da curner for dat?

l8r. Shakespeare Wed 8pm!xxx

Pork: yep c u”