Is Goebbels still alive?

David “Vodafan” Farrar has published a piece of propaganda dissertation from Paul Brislen at Vodafone about Mobile Termination Rates under the guise of being objective. Paul is a good guy, but he is doing his bosses bidding, so please don’t shoot the messenger. To save you reading it I will summarise it for you.

Rogered by Telecom and VodafoneBlah blah blah we bribed bought off, managed to convince 2 out 3 commissioners and we only needed 2. Cool that Telecom paid half. Blah blah blah how do like us telling you it’s a big win while we give it to you in the chook?

Blah blah blah here’s a little bit of smoke and mirrors to confuse everyone except our kind host of this post (did you get the cheque yet?) and Ernie Newman. Blah blah some tech speak.

Blah blah blah, aren’t we nice, we even provided the vaseline before we “engaged” with you. If you don’t watch it we will drop that all together. I like the use of “undertakings”, don’t you? All funereal and

Blah blah blah 2 always beats 1 so really cool those secret meeting toget our stories out straight paid off. And wouldn’t you know it we also scored 2-1 in the commission.

Blah blah blah more undertaking stuff, did I mention the customers are playing the corpse, it was a suggestion of? that Scottish git, he smells funny, you know like his mobile network dead things?

Blah blah blah…boy we were so generous in 2001, you didn’t even notice the buttons on our shirt pressing into your back. Cool how I used XT hidden subliminally in my paragraph (I wonder what is in that brown envelope that showed up in my pocket after lunch with those Telecom guys).

Blah blah blah The commission did a good job for us because we paid them to put up concise and clear advice to “assist” them. Always good to blow smoke up their arse so they don’t notice when we withdraw.

Blah blah blah, look I’ve used undertaking 6 times now, would you climb in that box already, no face down, Dr Reynolds and my boss will be with you shortly.

Blah blah, What’s in for us? Truck loads of your cash, especially of you go roaming with a data pan overseas…haha that’s a cool trick, rooting over opposition, keeping our cosy duopoly maintaining a competitive market just so long as their are two players.

Blah blah, right I think I’ve convinced you, just to be sure if you’ve grasp this correctly let’s recap. Nothing to see here, no your arse isn’t sore, we are really the good guys here, and generous too, look how long we are going to spend lowering the rates, that is so good for the consumer needed to plan financially out ten years.

Blah blah blah, that Matthew guy is a fuckwit, and I heard that poisonous wench Boag is in on the lies, utter lies, they should be sued, would be, if I could just stab the boss. You know that they were mentioned in the Hollow Men, god when that came out I thought boy we are in for it, someone has dumped the whole of Vodafone’s corporate planning emails on Nicky Hagar, turns out it was some silly spat between Bill English and that old rooter with the comb over. No one likes that 2degrees crowd. Not even Farrar and that is saying something. Just to sign off, N O T H I N G? T O? S E E? H E R E.