Why Greens are so mean

Wow a scientific study that proves what we all know anyway, That being Green is being Mean.

Every now and again there comes along a scientific study that proves beyond reasonable doubt what you instinctively know to be true: wine is good for you, exercise is dangerous, and self-righteous environmentalists are lying, cheating, thieving degenerates.

I’m exaggerating only a little. Do Green Products Make Us Better People?, a paper in the latest edition of the journal Psychological Science, argues that those who wear what the authors call the “halo of green consumerism” are less likely to be kind to others, and more likely to cheat and steal. Faced with various moral choices ? whether to stick to the rules in games, for example, or to pay themselves an appropriate wage ? the green participants behaved much worse in the experiments than their conventional counterparts. The short answer to the paper’s question, then, is: No. Greens are mean.

Gee, that sounds familiar. Of all political persuasions Greens sicken me the most with their fricken zealtory.

As with the worst type of religious zealot, there is nothing more annoying than the zeal of the converted, especially when it is tainted with the hypocrisy of self-righteousness. As we report today, people are more likely to buy environmentally friendly produce in shops than on the internet. Being seen to be green is more important than anything else. I wonder whether that will change if it now becomes a case of being seen to be mean.

Green bullies more like. Climate Change adherents more than any other almost.

We’ve always suspected they were bullies. In the Seventies British film Nuts in May, Mike Leigh hilariously skewered the sort of couple whose supposed love of the environment ? and why do so many of these people live in towns? ? is really just a device to stop everyone else having fun.

And now, at last, we have confirmation that they’re tight as well. They might be willing to pay over the odds for a lovingly tended carrot, but in every other area of normal human activity, their greenness is merely a mask for miserliness. The wind turbine, the tandem bike with a dangerous little buggy on the back for the twins, the self-denying holidays in Wales? Get a boiler! Get a car! Get out of here!

Jeanette would fit right in. It’s all bollocks of course. The best way to combat them would be to use green tactics, legislation, banning, shame.

We have been kind to these unkind people for far too long. Now that their halo has fallen and they can no longer boast their green credentials as a shorthand for moral superiority, it is time to fight fire with fire. How about a little compensatory ethics of our own? Double the tax on organic food as a deterrent; it is clearly a starter drug to a lifetime of amorality. Stop and search anyone in a Prius. Conduct dawn raids on north London allotments. Otherwise, one can only imagine the sort of dystopia that would ensue if these mean little green men were allowed to run amok.

I reckong we should make the Police stop all Prius owners on the suspicion of being Green Bulies and mandate an agency to follow every Prius around in a Hummer making the silly cars un-carbon neutral.