Why don't New Zealand newspapers have stories with first lines like this

Only from Australia. In an article about swearing and the crack down in Victoria, The Age starts off it’s column like this:

TO PUT it bluntly, we’re all f—ed. It might be therapeutic to let off a stream of expletives if your team is getting flogged or if you hit your finger with a hammer, but it can also be illegal.

And under laws set to be introduced to State Parliament this week,?Victoria Police will get permanent powers to slap potty-mouthed perpetrators with on-the-spot fines of up to $240 for using language deemed to be indecent, disorderly, offensive or threatening.

Don’t you wish our newspapers were as robust as the dailies in Australia?