Another "One"

You are a first term MP looking to carry on your family legacy. You have made quite an impact despite not being a member of the gaggle or self serving, and are rather on the outer fitting into that uncomfortable and unseemly demographic, the straight white male.

In 2005 you took one for the team in the very blue seat of Epsom, and as payback you were given a safe list seat in 2008 even though you were unable to take the nomination in the area you came from and wanted to reestablish firm roots in.

Despite heading home to put down firm roots in this term you have tried to make headway against an extremely popular incumbent in a seat that Labour held for 54 years before the hated tories took it. Your flamboyant office and flamboyant firetruck have made an impact, but unfortunately so has your flamboyant ?lifestyle?. You are living proof a leopard can change its spots, and your current princess has certain expectations.

You are now known as an ex rooter, and the sisterhood are no longer as anti you for your rooting as they are for your right wing tendencies in a party that exorcised such tendencies in favour of other tendencies years ago.

Years of solid work on a Capital Gains Tax have been ruined by a botched launch and a terrible sales job, but being a salesman yourself you wonder if it is not just the sales man who is pitching these policies who is the problem. And despite being the revenue spokesman you have yet to work out how to reduce to the marginal rate of cock tax to a more acceptable level, as the current ruinous rate is crippling you and causing your current princess to become quite vexed about lack of tiaras and fine clothes and all the other accoutrements a princess with her expectations so richly deserves.

This starts to nag away in the back of your mind, especially since being neither self serving or part of the gaggle you don?t have a safe list position, and you have no chance of winning your electorate on current polling. So you will find yourself without a situation, with a huge cock tax bill and a princess who is not particularly accommodating for those without situations.

You start thinking that maybe your stellar career will continue if the party just see the light and move the leader on.

So you become another of the most important numbers in a coup, a ?one?.