Muslim sense of humor

Some of you will recall a post I did about a website called Happy Muslim families. Since I visited it and downloaded some Pdfs containing tips to help husbands and wives have a happy marriage I have been receiving regular newsletters in my in box.

My latest newsletter is too good not to share. It provides we infidels with an insight into this chaps sense of humor and the reality of how easy it is for a Muslim man to divorce his wife or control and cower her by threatening divorce.I wonder if the female New Zealand converts to Islam featured in the Herald on Sunday are aware of their new diminished rights and status under Islam?

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Irfan Ullah Khan Co-Founder Happy Muslim Family

 

This is one of the funniest and rare stories about the people
who threaten with divorce.

In one of their conversations, a man told Khaleefah Ar-Rasheed: “I was informed that an Arab had divorced five women in one day.”

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Ar-Rasheed then said:
A man can only have four women, how come he has five?

The man said; There was an Arab who had four women.
One day he came home and found them arguing, and he was
ill-natured, he told himself: How long will this dispute go
on? He told one of his four wives “you are the one
responsible for this dispute” and he divorces her.

Her friend told him: “you have unfairly divorced her, if you punished her otherwise, you would have been just with her”. He then told her; “you are also divorced”.

The third one told him:
Shame on you, by Allah they were both nice to you and
better than you, but he told her: ” You too, who enumerate
their merits, are divorced.

The fourth wife said angrily:
You are unable to discipline your wives, you can only
divorce them”. He then told her: “You are divorced as
well”.
This incident took place within earshot of his neighbour, she
came to him and said: “By Allah, the Arabs could only
confirm your weakness and the weakness of your people
when they experience your conduct and behaviour, you
insisted on divorcing all your four wives in one hour.

He said: “You are also divorced if your husband allows me”,
Her husband replied from within the house: “Yes, I agree, I
agree”.
Dear wise brother!
Do not allow your house to be reigned by anxiety and
distress.

Do not threaten your wife with divorce for silly reasons.
Make your life full of love, harmony, understanding and
respect and take a lesson from the aforementioned story.

What is worth mentioning is the problem of swearing to
divorce one’s wife which has prevailed among many
Muslims.

? He threatens with, divorce if there is a simple misunderstanding!
? He threatens with divorce if the children cry!
? He threatens with divorce if the children break a glass or a cup! !
? He threatened with divorce if his wife forgets to bring fris shirt!!

For silly reasons, some men will swear to divorce
their wives, and this problem should be avoided.

[email protected]

Did you hear that guys? Don’t threaten divorce for silly reasons, save it for serious reasons.

I was curious as to how a Muslim goes about divorcing his wife and what it means for her. Most concerning apart from the fact that it is very easy for a man to get rid of his wife is the fact that he is not held to be financially responsible for the children after they are weaned. Imagine the pressure this would put on a Muslim woman. Being divorced not only hurts her financially but it will leave her children once they are no longer breastfed with no support from their father. Given that most Muslim women in Muslim countries do not have careers, her only way of providing for herself and her children would be to re marry. Misguided liberals and feminists often say that Muslim women choose to wear hijabs and choose to submit to their husbands etc because that is their ‘ culture ‘ They refuse to see it as oppression or an attack on women’s rights. Surely the fact that a a husband can discard his wife and his children so easily should concern them? Surely they can see that her ‘ choice ‘ is to put up with whatever is done to her or required of her because she is totally vulnerable to the whims of her husband. Funnily enough it is very difficult for a woman to divorce her husband, in stark contrast to how easy it is for him to divorce her.

In the laws of Islam (sharia) there are three kinds of divorce, each with separate rules. When a man has initiated a divorce, the procedure is called ?al?q (Arabic: ???????). When a husband accuses his wife of adultery without supplying witnesses and the wife denies it, the process is called li’?n (Arabic: ?????).[1] When a woman has initiated a divorce it is called khula (Arabic: ????). Talaq is easily obtained, while obtaining khula is typically quite difficult.

In the ?al?q divorce, the husband pronounces the phrase “I divorce you” (in Arabic, talaq) to his wife, three times. Many Islamic scholars believe there is a waiting period involved between the three talaqs, pointing to Quran 65:1[Quran?65:1] and various hadiths. However the practice of “triple ?al?q” at one sitting has been “legally recognized historically and has been particularly practiced in Saudi Arabia.”[2]

Shia and Sunni Muslims have different rules for performing a ?al?q divorce. According to some Sunni schools of jurisprudence, each talaq utterance should be followed by a waiting period of three menstrual periods for women or three month (iddah), when the couple are supposed to try to reconcile with the help of mediators from each family, until the third and final ?al?q. Some Sunnis who believe the practice of triple talaq in one go to be wrong, nonetheless accept it as final, especially the Hanafi schools of jurisprudence.

Shias don’t have the concept of verbal “Triple Divorce” ie. just uttering the phrase “I divorce you” three times. Shi’a practice also has a iddah waiting period when the couple are supposed to try to reconcile with the help of mediators from each family, but requires two witnesses for the declaration of ?al?q.[3] If the couple breaks the waiting period, the divorce is voided. After the waiting period is over, the couple is divorced and the husband is no longer responsible for the wife’s expenses, but remains responsible for the maintenance of the children, until they are weaned.

It is also possible for a woman to petition a qadi (judge of Muslim jurisprudence) for a divorce under certain conditions. The circumstances which are regarded as acceptable vary amongst the four Sunni groups of Islamic schools of jurisprudence.

-Wiki

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