Hager Fatigue

Victim of Hager fatigue

Victim of Hager fatigue

I am not feeling very well at the moment so I went to the doctor. He asked me a few questions and soon diagnosed Hager Fatigue. He said the symptoms are very similar to Deja vu syndrome, where the patient experiences a strong sensation that an event currently being experienced has been experienced in the past.

Unlike? Deja Vu syndrome, Hager fatigue? is a virus that quickly spreads and can have debilitating effects. It is a Social Media transmitted disease and is highly contagious.

Social Media transmitted disease

Social Media transmitted disease

One of the first side effects is a strong headache that can last for hours usually caused by exposure to wall to wall Media coverage all about the same thing.

Headache

One side effect is a strong headache

Another side effect is a feeling of anger that that the information being discussed was yet again criminally sourced.

Data thief

Data thief

 

Hager Fatigue is believed to originate from books that have been made from 500 year old Kauri trees ( that were not saved by a Greenie activist who was prepared to poo in a bucket.) The age of the trees used to make the paper for the books has been debated and they may in fact not be Kauri trees but pine and they may not actually be 500 years old but may be from a plantation where mature trees are harvested at around 5 years of age but that is beside the point.

Anyway the stolen information on the pages of these infected books are potent but only for a very small period of time after which no one will buy the books anymore.

Infected books lose their potency once they hit the bargain bin.

Infected books lose their potency once they hit the bargain bin.

I asked my doctor how much longer I would be suffering from Hager fatigue and his words cheered me. Previous outbreaks he said have only lasted 3- 6 weeks so I can expect to be feeling better by the end of next month. He recommended that I stay off twitter and avoid reading the New Zealand Herald.

“What about the books?” I asked, “should I burn them to avoid further infection?” ” No,” he replied,” I hear that their paper is soft and thoroughly absorbent.”

Homemade toilet paper

Homemade toilet paper

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