What is this illness that is depression?

What is this thing called depression?

Each person is different, for me depression is anger. It is all consuming and it takes over and the anger builds and seethes, then it breaks.

The best thing I ever did was be honest about depression, it is also the worst thing I ever did.

It was good because I finally knew what it was that was killing me. I could confront it, fight it and battle and boy that battle is tough. Every now and then it comes roaring back and it always will.

The worst part about being upfront about depression is the reaction of people to it. I am lucky I have very good friends and of course my Spanish Bride. But the suffering ?hurts every one.

I have learned with battling Depression for more than ten years that there are triggers. ??

Right now there are plenty of triggers out there.

Watching sanctimonious fuckwits who robbed, stole and spread my private information all over the place sit there smirking about it all while claiming it was their lives turned upside down really makes me angry, its a trigger.

Seeing those same people piously claim purity when I know precisely what their involvement was in dirty politics is another trigger.

And watching an eminent QC make outrageous statements and spurious allegations while defending someone who has built a career as a fence really grates.

These are all triggers…but I won’t let the fuckwits, the scumbags?win by doing what they tried to get me to do last year.

They act like they are the aggrieved, like they are the victims of crime when they are in all reality the perpetrators of a crime against me.

When criminals, ratbags and common thieves continue their campaign laying false complaints and supporting vexatious actions then I?know I am actually winning against these pricks. That they will break the law, lie, cheat, hack and steal to try to take me down, physically or mentally then I know I am winning.

The anger builds as you watch people crying about the so-called trampling of their rights when they are the ones who put jack boots on to stomp all over mine.

Watching Nicky Hager talk about his life being turned upside down and claiming to be a journalist when he never gives people a right of reply, uses details out of context and works with criminals is just too much.

So, yes, I am unwell, I suffer depression, but I am still here.

They will not win…every breath I take annoys them, so I’ll keep on breathing to spite them.