Arsehole or introvert?

There is a great article at New Yorker about arseholes…who aren’t, they’re introverts.

It certainly resonates with me.

I can be loud at times, and I?m not shy, so a lot of people assume that I?m an extrovert. But I?m not. I?m an introvert. When I explain this to people, they ask me, ?Well, if you?re such an introvert, why are you talking to a group of strangers in an elevator? This is a social interaction that you initiated and could have easily avoided.? I don?t answer them. I just shake my head at how misunderstood the word ?introvert? is these days.

For example, people think that if you?re an introvert, you don?t like parties. But, under the right circumstances, I actually do like parties. I find that the right amount of partying is to do so?only on weekends or the funner weekdays (notTuesday) or whenever I?m in the mood to party. That being said, once I?m at a party, you won?t find me introducing myself to people, or thanking the host for having me, or going out of my way to show an interest in what someone else wants to talk about if it?s not me and my life, or any of that other extrovert stuff. ?

Most introverts find small talk cumbersome, but I actually hate all sizes of talk. I especially hate talking on the phone, even with friends. If a friend texts me, ?Hey, you?re twenty minutes late! You promised you wouldn?t flake again, are you still coming?? or ?emergency i need your help please call me asap,? I just won?t do it. When you think about it, it?s sort of selfish of them to demand that I talk to them on the phone even after I?ve told them multiple times that I?m an introvert.

As an introvert, I hate donating money to charity. I?m just too shy to think about?my money going to help some stranger.

I find most people annoying and stupid people really annoying.

As an introvert, it?s my right to live my life without being limited by some dictionary definition that says I?m a shy, reticent person all the time. I can be confident, outgoing, and aggressive if I want. Admitting that I?m an introvert has given me the freedom to exhibit introverted behavior?like keeping a wallet I find on the sidewalk even though I saw whose pocket it fell out of because returning the wallet would involve talking to another person?without having to feel guilty. Now when people tell me, ?Hey, you?re kind of an asshole,? as the elevator doors shut in their faces because I didn?t hold the doors open for them even though I saw them coming and was, in fact, furiously mashing the close-doors?button, I can just smile and respond, ?No, I?m an introvert, and that means I can do whatever the fuck I want.?

Heh, I get that, especially the elevator bit.

But seriously, one of the reasons I enjoy going hunting so much is that there is no one ringing you up, no one wanting idle and useless chit chat and deer don’t talk back and are way more cunning than the average person.

I am way more happy sitting reading a book, or watching a movie at home, than going out. Going out requires me to interact with people…and people are stupid as you know. I also feel compelled to tell stupid people that they are stupid….to their face.

So, pencil me in as an introvert…or an arsehole. I don’t mind which.

 

– New Yorker

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