Not just Colin Craig, ALL males are to blame

Rachel Stewart, NZ Herald’s latest click bait and outrage generator?goes on another wild slashing about.

Every woman I know, and probably every woman you know too, is grappling with the turbo-charged misogyny all around us of late.

Colin Craig’s unctuous interest and actions toward his press secretary, New Zealand rugby’s clumsy handling of the Chief’s stripper debacle and, the cr?me de la cr?me, Trump’s fetish for grabbing – shall we say – felines. It’s not just the acts themselves, and the endless news cycles about them, but more the frenetic, furious and analytical commentary afterwards.

In my case, I’ve unwittingly added fuel to the fire by (sexually) desiring a woman over any man. Anyone who tells you that this is not a majorly rebellious act, even in this so-called enlightened age of marriage equality, is dreaming.
Don’t get me wrong, these discussions are ultimately a good thing. They air out cupboards, blow out cobwebs, and show every woman on the planet that it’s not just her own closet that harbours a skeleton or two.

They can, however, trigger an array of emotions for many women that they find deeply challenging. The interminable roll call of men’s deeds; the bungling, the disrespect, the ownership many males feel towards female bodies. All of it, ALL OF IT, does something to us deep inside.

It’s unspeakable precisely because if we do speak of it we quickly get hammered back in line once again. Society doesn’t tend to readily accept us having strong views on how men can make us feel so bad. It doesn’t fit the homogeneous narrative.

So much anger in this one. ?

For me, all of this day in and day out misogyny, leads me to a place of righteous anger. I mean, you’re reading a columnist right now who has had numerous rape and death threats merely for expressing an opinion. I totally comprehend the degree of hatred some men have for women. I get it.

Wow. Just wow.

At least, for now, it’s only “some men”

Most women aren’t quite as adept as me at channeling anger. Right now, what I’m seeing is a rising tide of women in emotional pain, often manifesting as depression.

Trump and his “locker room” ilk have been brilliant at reminding us how some men still actually view us. As pieces of meat, only good for quick sex in a public toilet, constantly desirous of the male gaze and grope.

Before I hear you shriek “not ALL men”, how about you good guys start calling out the bad guys, as well as sexual predators. Because you know who they are.

And there you go. ? ALL men. ?Because those of us who are not grabbing them by the pussy, sending unwanted p0ems, running one up in a disabled toilet or having a $50 munch are vicariously responsible.

If it helps, I do call out rapists, pedophiles, sexual assaulters, and so on. ? I have a long public record on this blog for doing just that.

And like Rachel, I have received real death threats, and my minor daughter rape threats, for what I say in public. ? But I don’t put all men into the same dark black hole. ?And I reserve my anger for people who deserve it. ?Not “ALL men”.

Once your anger is so “well channelled” that you can’t even distinguish that most men are equally abhorred and actually on your side, you have no business speaking for anyone but yourself.


– Rachel Stewart, NZ Herald