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John Phillips may easily be called one of the best pop songwriters of the later 20th century. He honed his songwriting and arranging skills with singing groups that gained a modicum of success. But his crowning musical achievement was the work he did with his '60s group the Mamas and the Papas. Photo: MTV

John Phillips may easily be called one of the best pop songwriters of the later 20th century. He honed his songwriting and arranging skills with singing groups that gained a modicum of success. But his crowning musical achievement was the work he did with his ’60s group the Mamas and the Papas. Photo: MTV

Forbidden Fruit

A Lifetime of Debauched and Reckless Behaviour

John Phillips, destructiveness was too extravagant even for Keith Richards, who once kicked Phillips out of his house for being too uncontrollable

Unlike some other musician/addiction profiles, the John Phillips story is not necessarily one with a cheerful ending.

Mackenzie Phillips, his daughter, was 10 years old when her father taught her how to roll a joint. She had her first taste of cocaine at age 11. At 14, she landed a role in the film?American Graffiti?, and one week after her 18th birthday, she was arrested for the first time.

When she was 10, her dad gave her, her first adult job.

?Dad said, ?I?m going to give you a project,? Dad had a job for me! This was exciting. I was in.?

?I got really good at rolling joints. I was the official joint roller for all the adults.?

McKenzie?says she was allowed so much freedom as a kid that the only rules her dad gave her were to spend one night a week at home and to always change her clothes before returning in the early morning.

?A lady never wears evening clothes during the day. It?s cheap,? John Phillips, who died in 2001, told her.

He did have one boundary. One day, Mackenzie found a purple pill in her dad?s bedroom.

She instinctively took it. But it turned out not to be just any pill ? it was the last of the LSD pills made by the famous drug cook Owsley Stanley, and it was a collector?s item among moneyed celebrity druggies of the time.

?It was as if I?d crashed a normal dad?s Porsche, he said, ?You took my last hit of Owsley. You?re grounded!? ?

In 2009, nearly a decade after Phillips had passed away, his daughter, Mackenzie, went public with tales of the incestuous relationship between her and her father that began when she was 19 years old.

Mackenzie wrote in her book,?High on Arrival, that she had sex with her father on the night before she was to get married in 1979.

?On the?eve of my wedding, my father showed up, determined to stop it,? she was a heavy drug user at the time. ?I had tons of pills, and Dad had tons of everything too.

The scandalous claims of rape and incest made by Mackenzie against her father, 60s music icon John Phillips, put the spotlight back on a man whose debauched reputation has long overshadowed his brilliant contributions to music as the erstwhile leader of the Mamas and the Papas.

Mackenzie Phillips alleged that she was raped by her musician father and subsequently engaged in a 10-year incestuous yet consensual sexual relationship. Her sensational allegations have served to split the only showbiz family who are more dysfunctional than the Jacksons.

The allegations provoked a mammoth backlash from two of Phillips’ four ex-wives.

Michelle Phillips, Mackenzie?s former stepmother and Mamas and Papas member, expressed outrage that Mackenzie was appearing on TV instead of sitting on a therapist?s couch. John?s wife at the time of the alleged abuse, Genevieve Waite, issued a firm statement of denial. Even Mackenzie?s supportive half-sisters, Chyna and Bijou, were devastated by the story. (John Phillips had passed away in 2001.)

Michelle Gilliam, branded Mackenzie a fantasist.

Michelle Phillips, said she believed the allegations were false.

Michelle Phillips said Mackenzie had “a lot of mental illness” and that “she’s had a needle stuck up her arm for 35 years.”

“Mackenzie is jealous of her siblings, who have accomplished a lot and did not become drug addicts.”

Mackenzie’s half-sister, singer Chynna Phillips, stepped into the row, saying she believes the claims.

Chynna, said Mackenzie told her in a 1997 phone call that she?d had a decade-long relationship with her father.

“Somebody could have dropped a piano on my head and I probably wouldn?t have felt it,” Chynna said, but I knew it was true. I mean, who in their right mind would make such a claim if it wasn?t true.”

The former star of ’70s-’80s sitcom “One Day at a Time,”?said?that she was first raped by her father in a hotel room while passed out after a drug binge but continued to use drugs and have consensual sex with him for years.

The relationship continued long after she married Jeff Sessler when she was 19, and ended only when she became pregnant and feared her father was the baby’s father. McKenzie said her father, John Phillips, paid for an abortion.

She said of her first sexual experience with her father:

“I woke up that night from a blackout to find myself having sex with my own father. I don’t remember how it started or, thankfully, how it ended. ? Was it the first time? Had this happened before? I didn’t know and I still don’t. All I can say is that it was the first time I was aware of it. For a moment I was in my body, in that horrible truth, and then I slid back into a blackout. Your father is supposed to protect you.”

?For a moment, I was in my body for a horrible truth,” she said of waking up and realizing she had had sex with her father.

“I boxed it away. I started very early on in my life compartmentalizing. … This was the mother of all difficult experiences. … I [have spent] the last 30 years trying not to look at it,” she said. My father was not a man with boundaries. He was full of love, and he was sick with drugs.

Consensual incest is a topic that’s rarely?if ever?discussed. Mackenzie says she can’t explain why this forbidden affair went on for so long, but she believes drugs and alcohol were partly to blame.

“My father was not a bad man. He was kind of a testament to what drugs and alcohol?in huge quantities?can do to a person’s priorities. Their motives,” she says. “I don’t hate him. I understand that he was a very tortured man, and he sort of passed that torture down to me.”

Genevieve Waite, John Phillips? wife at the time of the alleged abuse and Mackenzie?s stepmother that said he was ?incapable, no matter how drunk or drugged he was, of having such a relationship with his own child.?

NEW YORK, NY - CIRCA 1981: Mackenzie Phillips and father John Phillips, a few years after Mackenzie says their sexual relationship began. For 10 years, actress Mackenzie says she had a sexual relationship with her father, rock legend John Phillips. It came to an end when she was 29 years old. VIA GETTY IMAGES

NEW YORK, NY – CIRCA 1981: Mackenzie Phillips and father John Phillips, a few years after Mackenzie says their sexual relationship began. For 10 years, actress Mackenzie says she had a sexual relationship with her father, rock legend John Phillips. It came to an end when she was 29 years old. VIA GETTY IMAGES

Born in 1935, John Phillips came from a long line of military careerists, and he grew up in the Washington/Virginia area of the Eastern Seaboard. His father was a military officer (and apparent recluse with poor health and a crippling drinking problem) who?retired when John was very young. John attended military school and even went to the Naval Academy for a fleeting period. By the late 1950s, the attraction of a career in music was too much for Phillips; he eventually moved to New York, fronting pop-vocal ensembles such as The Abstracts and The Smoothies.

By the dawn of the 1960s, folk music was one of the biggest movements in the country; Phillips wasted no time in founding a professional outfit called The Journeymen, which included future acolyte Scott McKenzie. During this period he was married to Suzie Adams, a descendant of John Quincy Adams. They had two children, one being Mackenzie Phillips. The Journeymen were fairly successful, having a contract with Capitol Records, releasing several albums, which while not bestsellers, sold respectably. The group had built a very significant reputation. They had a taste of the good life?Phillips undoubtedly liked it.

During this period, marijuana and pharmaceuticals such as amphetamines were common in the commercial folk world. John experimented eagerly, although his focus on his career was always a constant. Sometime in 1963, on tour in San Francisco, he met a young Michelle Gilliam, a striking beauty nine years his junior. Their romance eventually led to a divorce from Suzie. John and Michelle married in 1964; she eventually joined the Journeymen.

During their travels on the folk music circuit, they met future Mamas & Papas members’ Cass Elliot and Denny Doherty. The first time the four actually met together coincided with them all dropping LSD for the first time, while the drug was still legal. This gave the group a bond that congealed their camaraderie, and certainly affected their music. It was during this trip that Denny Doherty made Phillips listen to the Beatles, whose impact was immeasurable, though John had been resisting.

Among some folk purists, going electric was considered sacrilege. But once John heard the Beatles?his life and art were never the same.

While The Mamas & The Papas weren?t quite a group yet, they all decided to travel to the Virgin Islands for an extended vacation, financed by the earnings of The Journeymen. Change was clearly in the air; the early music of The Byrds and The Lovin’ Spoonful (whom Phillips and the band knew very well) was all over the radio. A cultural revolution was taking place, and pop music was at the center of it all. Phillips and his bandmates wanted room at the table. They spent several months in the Virgin Islands, dropping acid and refining their sound.

In mid-1965, the four ended up in Los Angeles, quickly signing to Lou Adler?s new label, Dunhill Records. The next few months were a blur: ?California Dreamin,?? ?Monday, Monday,? ?I Saw Her Again,? and many others. John was at the center of it all as the groups? songwriter and vocal arranger. In a perfect world, he probably should have been listed as co-producer. Their characteristic four-part harmonies twisted and rolled with countermelodies and vocal hooks, which were infectious and revolutionary?beguiling the heart as well as the ear. A lot was resting on Phillips’ shoulders, and for a while, he delivered. As far as substance abuse, the band were relatively big drinkers at a social place and time when alcohol wasn?t necessarily customary.

Despite their genteel music and image as the family-friendly face of hippie-dom, the Mamas and the Papas ? John Phillips, his wife Michelle, Denny Doherty and Mama Cass Elliot ? indulged in all the free love and chemical intoxication that the 60s had to offer. They were also famously incestuous as a group, splitting up in 1968 when inter-band relations had made it all-but-impossible for them to continue recording. While still married to John, Michelle Phillips had an affair with Denny Doherty ? an affair that only inflamed the ire of fellow Cass Elliot, who herself harboured an infatuation (albeit unrequited) with Doherty.

Marijuana, acid and pharmaceuticals of all types (opiates, tranquilizers and amphetamines) were staples in the group?s diet. There would be a price to pay down the road?

But behind the scenes, the group was already driven with feuds caused by drug-taking, jealousy and their highly complicated personal lives.
Even as they topped the charts, Phillips was already cheating on Michelle, and soon began a clandestine affair with actress Mia Farrow, who at the time was married to Frank Sinatra.

When a furious Sinatra, who famously had links to Sam Giancana, the Chicago Mafia boss, discovered that Phillips had been sleeping with Farrow in their marital bed while he was away on tour, he sent a bunch of heavies to warn him off.

Undaunted, Phillips, who was already insisting on being addressed by his stage name, Papa John, went out and bought a small armoury of weapons to protect himself from Sinatra’s Mob cronies.

He was also rumoured to have become close to Princess Margaret, whom he visited at the private Caribbean island of Mustique, where she would play piano and join him in singing bawdy versions of Chattanooga Choo Choo.

She would also secretly smuggle Phillips into her private quarters at Kensington Palace.

By way of retaliation, his blonde and angelic-looking wife Michelle embarked on her own series of adulterous relationships with a string of Hollywood leading men, including Jack Nicholson, Warren Beatty and film director Roman Polanski.

The couple bought a mock Tudor estate on a hilltop in upmarket Bel Air, where the Rolling Stones and The Beatles were regular guests. At debauched parties, guests were handed bowls of cocaine and LSD tablets as they entered the house.

By then, Phillips was already an addict, and his gilded life was fast unravelling. He was once so out of his head on drugs that he let his pet golden retriever, Trelawny, munch its way through a bag of the psychedelic drug mescaline.

The poor creature ran in circles for three days without stopping, then stared at himself in the mirror for 12 hours.

By 1967, the group was running out of steam, but not before what turned out to be Phillips? finest hour. In June, the high-water mark of the psychedelic movement (two weeks after the Beatles released?Sgt. Pepper’s…)?Phillips and Lou Adler organized and produced the Monterey International Pop Festival, which took place over the course of three days and announced to the world the psychedelic revolution at its finest. It featured the first major American performances of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and several others. The communal vibe was inescapably vigorous, and was all captured in the superb D.A. Pennebaker documentary,?Monterey Pop.?

Following the festival and the birth of their daughter Chynna, John and Michelle, in due course, split up after a messy open marriage and an even more untidy public divorce. It was during this period that harder drugs entered the picture. John, in particular, was rubbing elbows with the Beverly Hills/Hollywood elite, such as Roman Polanski/Sharon Tate, Warren Beatty, Robert Evans and many others. He was also chummy with the Rolling Stones and Beatles. It was an intoxicating time (literally and figuratively), and a lot of people in these circles had access to heavier, more expensive drugs, namely cocaine, thus beginning John Phillips’ odyssey.

But his drug-taking would also inadvertently save his life. In August 1969, he was so stoned that he failed to turn up to a party in Cielo Drive, Hollywood.

That night, the inhabitants of the house, including film director Roman Polanski’s pregnant wife Sharon Tate, were murdered by disciples of the psychotic Charles Manson.

Heady days: John Phillips with The Mamas and The Papas, (clockwise) wife Michelle, Cass Elliott and Denny Doherty.

Heady days: John Phillips with The Mamas and The Papas, (clockwise) wife Michelle, Cass Elliott and Denny Doherty.

The Mamas & the Papas: The inside story: I knew they were going to break up soon and was so lucky to get them in the pool together! We shot in the evening in the pool at John and Michelle?s estate in Beverly Hills. I knew then the whole thing was going to blow up, which it did a few weeks later. Photographer Guy Webster.

The Mamas & the Papas: The inside story: I knew they were going to break up soon and was so lucky to get them in the pool together! We shot in the evening in the pool at John and Michelle?s estate in Beverly Hills. I knew then the whole thing was going to blow up, which it did a few weeks later. Photographer Guy Webster.

The Mamas & the Papas. The inside story: We were all stoned! We couldn?t leave the house and none of us could walk. So I put them in the bathroom next to the living room in their house in Laurel Canyon. We did not know you could not put a toilet on the cover so we had to sticker it for the single, ?California Dreamin,?? which went to Number One and we all became famous. I never stopped working after that album cover?still working to this day. Photographer Guy Webster

The Mamas & the Papas. The inside story: We were all stoned! We couldn?t leave the house and none of us could walk. So I put them in the bathroom next to the living room in their house in Laurel Canyon. We did not know you could not put a toilet on the cover so we had to sticker it for the single, ?California Dreamin,?? which went to Number One and we all became famous. I never stopped working after that album cover?still working to this day.Photographer Guy Webster

Following the break-up of the group, Phillips cut an under-appreciated solo album (The Wolfking Of L.A.), and worked on a few film soundtracks. He primarily spent a lot of his time as sort-of a royal figure in Hollywood?a semi-active “King of Pop” holding court in his Bel Air mansion. Various projects came and went, many uncompleted such as a musical called?Man On The Moon or Space,?which he put together with his new wife, actress Genevi?ve Wa?te. During this period, his use of cocaine and other narcotics was prodigious and legendary. During the mid-1970s, he also became cross-addicted to heroin.

His good friend Mick Jagger helped John get a solo album deal with the founder of Atlantic Records, Ahmet Erteg?n (via The Stones’ Rolling Stones Records). It featured performances by Jagger, Richards, Ron Wood and Mick Taylor. The project was bogged down due to excessive drug use by Phillips and Keith Richards (who was co-producing), and eventually Erteg?n pulled the plug on the financing.

An incorrigible rebel with boundless enthusiasm and an indomitable humanist streak, he was also plagued by a fatalism that threatened to engulf all those closest to him. Those most affected by Phillips’ chaotic lifestyle were his children. Mackenzie and Jeffrey (both children from Phillips’ first marriage to Susan Adams, a descendant of U.S. President John Adams) developed drug addictions of their own, aged 13 and 14 respectively, while living with their father at his rented Bel Air mansion in the early 70s. Cocaine was so plentiful that it was often laid out in bowls around the house like pot pourri.

Around this time, Mackenzie’s career as a child star began to take off. She made her acting debut aged 12 in the George Lucas film,?American Graffiti. By 16, she had outstripped her father’s fame as one of the stars of an immensely popular U.S. sitcom,?One Day At A Time, and was said to be earning somewhere in the region of $47,000 a week.

Phillips eulogized the antics of his streetwise daughter in a song called She’s Just 14, which was recorded in 1977 during notoriously druggy sessions in New York with Keith Richards, in which the hard-living duo reputedly spent more time shooting heroin in the studio bathroom than laying down tracks. The title of Mackenzie?s memoir,?High on Arrival, is taken from a line in that song, which also features a lascivious backing vocal from Mick Jagger.

At the height of his addiction, Phillips claimed to be shooting up every 15 minutes. All that came to an end on July 31, 1980, when Phillips was arrested. He had been funding his drug habit by trading books of stolen prescriptions for bottles of pharmaceutical drugs at a Manhattan pharmacy, and then trading those with his drug dealers for cocaine.

The end eventually came following a huge DEA sting, and Phillips was convicted in 1981 of drug trafficking. Subsequently, he and his now television-star daughter Mackenzie, made the rounds in the media in an anti-drug campaign. This helped reduce his prison time to only a month in jail, of which he spent three weeks (one week off for good behavior) at Allenwood Prison Camp in Allenwood, PA.

Upon his release, he re-formed The Mamas & The Papas with Mackenzie, Spanky McFarlane (of the group Spanky and Our Gang) and Denny Doherty. Throughout the rest of his life, Phillips toured with various incarnations of this group. He also co-wrote ?Kokomo,? which was a huge hit for The Beach Boys in the late ’80s. He also wrote a best-selling autobiography,?Papa John.?

During this period, he essentially switched his addiction to alcohol. Phillips had a liver transplant in 1992, although whether he abstained from drinking was always in question. When he was photographed drinking in a bar in the mid-90s, he commented that he was ?trying to break in the new liver,? which seemed to be his mindset throughout his life.

Phillips, died in 2001 of complications relating to a liver transplant, was married four times and sired five children with three of his wives. He was an extraordinarily charismatic man, a brilliant musician with an innate talent for songwriting. He was also an incorrigible rebel, plagued by a fatalism that threatened to engulf all those closest to him; a man who delighted in living dangerously.

Mick Jagger, Mackenzie Phillips, and Nicky Lane Weymouth, circa 1970-1987. Joel and Lila Harnett Print Study Center, University of Richmond Museums, Gift of The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc., The Andy Warhol Photographic Legacy Program. H2008.13.032. ? The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc.

Mick Jagger, Mackenzie Phillips, and Nicky Lane Weymouth, circa 1970-1987. Joel and Lila Harnett Print Study Center, University of Richmond Museums, Gift of The Andy Warhol Foundation for the Visual Arts, Inc., The Andy Warhol Photographic Legacy Program.

You can?t always get what you want ? but Mick Jagger did

During the late 1970s, the mink-wearing grand dames of an exquisite Beaux Arts apartment building overlooking New York’s Central Park often found themselves sharing its magnificent marble lobby with a variety of beautiful models and groupies.

The destination of the latter contingent was a suite of rooms on one of the lower floors which had become the Manhattan home of Mick Jagger and his supermodel lover, Jerry Hall.

When Jerry was away on photo shoots, the most beautiful girls the city had to offer – hand-picked by Mick, who approached the selection of female conquests with an almost military zeal – queued up to take her place in his bed.

The next morning, the Rolling Stones front man would wrap the girl in a fluffy white towelling robe, make her tea and toast, and ensure she was long gone by the time his blonde Texan girlfriend returned home.

One evening in January 1978, when Jerry was working in South America, Mick attended a party in the building thrown by one of his wealthy neighbours.

A fellow guest was his old friend John Phillips, ex-leader of hippy pop group The Mamas And The Papas, who had arrived at the soiree with his teenage daughter, Mackenzie.

As the party wore on, Mick suddenly announced he wanted a tuna salad sandwich. So Jagger, Phillips, and the long-limbed Mackenzie took the lift down to Mick’s apartment in search of food.
But as they prepared the snack in the vast kitchen of his elegant home, Mick announced he was out of mayonnaise – and dispatched Phillips back to the party to find some.

With the girl’s father gone, he moved quickly. By the time Phillips returned a few minutes later, the priapic Jagger had bolted the door and was already in bed with the 18-year-old Mackenzie.

?I?ve been waiting for this since you were 10 years old,? Jagger allegedly told her.

‘We went into Jerry Hall’s bedroom and had sex in their bed. My dad came back and started knocking on the door, yelling: “You’ve got my daughter in there!”

?We ignored him, and he was finally on his way.?

All of which might seem to be the perfectly reasonable reaction of a protective father faced with the nightmare scenario of his impressionable young daughter in the clutches of a notoriously lascivious rock star.

She says that sex with Mick Jagger is still a fond memory.

?I was proud of my conquest,?Or of having been conquested.?

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Whatever the truth, Mackenzie’s revelations about her father have overshadowed her painting of Jagger as a sleazy sexual opportunist with a taste for young girls (though Miss Phillips is quick to point out that the singer was insistent that he considered making a play for her only when she had passed the age of consent).

The story is just one of many lurid anecdotes from McKenzies wild life of sex, drugs ?n? rock and roll.

If claims made by Mckenzie, are true this was far from a classic case of understandable parental concern.

She claims her father within a year of that night, they began an incestuous relationship.
Mackenzie also recalls how, as a teen, she went to a party hosted by the Kennedy family, and had a lesbian experience.

?One of Andy Warhol?s cronies was there with his niece. I got in big, big trouble for seducing the niece,? she writes. ?Her uncle was very upset, shouting, ?How dare you? She?s just a child!? ?

“In the mid eighties, when I was on tour with the New Mamas & the Papas, a porter brought two packages up to my hotel room. One contained a book, my father?s newly published memoir, but I was more interested in the other package?a flat FedEx letter containing an eighth of an ounce of cocaine. The band, a reconstituted version of the Mamas & the Papas, included my father, Denny Doherty, Spanky McFarlane, and me. We were on an extended tour, performing in city after city for more than 250 days of the year. In each city, a FedEx like the one I was holding awaited me, and I spent all day?every day in my hotel room, shooting up coke, coming out only to appear onstage for the nightly gig. Then I?d return to my hotel and do more coke. I was twenty-six years old. I put Dad?s book aside, opened the FedEx, and prepared a shot. Using a scarf, I tied off my arm. As I looked for a vein, I felt the familiar rush that accompanied the ritual itself. I knew what was coming. I pushed the needle in. As the coke entered my bloodstream I felt a euphoric onrush of sensation. I was back where I wanted to be.?

“Dad was the great and terrible sun around which his children, wives, girlfriends, fellow musicians, and drug dealers orbited, relentlessly drawn to his fierce, inspiring, damaging light. The alternate solar system my dad drew me into had hilarious moments?like sliding down the banisters of my dad?s Malibu mansion with Donovan?and portentous scenes, like when I tried cocaine for the first time at the age of eleven.”

As a child, Phillips led a rock n? roll lifestyle, travelling to luxury locations in Learjets and making pot brownies with her dad?s buddies.

?What do you expect to happen if you teach your child to roll joints at the age of ten? How will she turn out if she is free to pilfer the lesser of your personal pharmacy? Who will she be if she is left to find her way among adults who are lost or hell-bent on losing themselves? My father didn?t think about the consequences.?

?There was a father- daughter relationship that crossed the boundaries of love to break many taboos, as my father was wont to do. My life was one of a kind?not?everyone has a rock-star father, childhood stardom, and enough money and fame before the age of sixteen to last a lifetime. I have had more than my share of highs and lows. But all of it happened, it?s real, and it?s who I am.”

It’s been over seven years since?Mackenzie Phillips?revealed her?long-term incestuous relationship?with her father, but she ?still has regrets over how she relayed the startling story.
“I felt like I was sort of in abject terror,” she said of discussing her father, “I felt like I was trying to climb up a cliff. I felt like I was trying to make you believe me … I was so frightened … I just felt like I was at such a deficit.”
“I felt like here I was with this huge piece of information that maybe wasn’t even fit for public consumption, I hadn’t done my due diligence. When I wrote the book I just thought, ‘I’m not gonna Google this, I’m not gonna Google that. I’m just going to tell my story as it happened to me.’ But then, in retrospect, there was some due diligence that I missed doing. Like preparing myself for losing my family.”
“That has been something that I’ve had to come to terms with,” before noting that her mother, Susan Adams, has remained supportive, as well as her son Shane and “beautiful ex-husband” Shane Fontayne.

“I come from a long line of undiagnosed mental illness, rampant addiction and alcoholism. So there’s the genetic component, right? And there’s the introduction to these types of behaviours at a very young age, you become desensitized to seeing all kinds of out of control behaviour and inappropriate things at a very young age. And then you have this idea that in order to be an adult that this is a rite of passage.”

?For survivors of incest to tell their story is a very difficult thing to do, because of the inevitable backlash from family members who are often in denial. Who will say, ?Oh she?s a liar,? or ?Oh she?s crazy,? or in my case, ?Oh she?s a drug addict, and was high all those years, and don?t believe anything she says.?

?I have lost my siblings and no longer have contact with them. I would love to speak to them, but they don?t speak to me. I miss them. But it?s a small price to pay, to give a voice to thousands of people who don?t have one, to help other people.?

McKenzie is?not sure how she would have shared her story differently: “It was sort of like a runaway train that I had no power of stopping.”

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