NZ Herald writer didn’t get the memo; sides with Paul Henry


Winston Aldworth manages to slide this past the Editor at the Herald

It was bound to happen sooner or later: Paul Henry has said something I agree with.

In Saturday’s Canvas magazine, Henry – a familiar face for the dozens of people who watch TV3 early on weekday mornings – fired a few choice bons mots at those most annoying of travellers: People who are slow at the security check.

“Why- the f*** – do you get to the front of the queue and have all this – ‘Oh f***! Oh shit! Oh my f***in’ Christ! I had no idea I had a hand grenade in my pocket! Oh, do I need to put my laptop in a separate thing? Do I need to take this out of my sock? Do I need to take my shoes off? Am I a complete f***in’ moron who can barely breathe on my own?'”

I’m with Henry – though not quite so sweary – on this subject. I once stood there as the bloke in front of me painstakingly went through a routine that could have appeared in a comedy show. He would walk through the scanner, it would beep and he would walk back. “Do you think it might have been this coin?” he’d say, pulling the thing from a pocket, before doing the routine again with keys, a phone, more coins from other pockets, spare keys and a wedding ring.

The clue is in the name, people, it’s a metal detector.

Of course, we should display a little patience. Odd as it may seem to regular fliers, there are people out there who haven’t done much flying. Don’t blame them for getting flustered at the security check, blame the airport for not opening more scanners to ease congestion.

Awww, he was going so well. ?Then he lost his nerve at the end.


– Winston Aldsworth, NZ Herald