It’s not a smear if it is true, you silly little girl

Part time national anthem singer and hopeless columnist, Lizzie Marvelly, thinks older people disrespect youth.

I was brought up to respect my elders.

Indeed, without my elders – my wh?nau, teachers, mentors and role models – I wouldn’t be where I am today.

Over the past few years, however, I’ve noticed that some older people seem to take our respect for granted.

And it’s (respectfully) doing my head in.

In an election year, it’s almost guaranteed that young people will be dragged through the mud for one reason or another.

We’ll be smeared as the unworthy recipients of a “bribe” that won the election (years after the fact); the useless, lazy cohort that couldn’t be bothered voting; the self-centred, me-me-me generation that could easily own houses if we simply stopped eating smashed avocados and watching Sky TV; or the idealistic, radical children who should listen to people who know better.

That’s not a smear dearie…it’s true. And yes, you should listen to people who know better, because your column proves every single week that you aren’t listening and that you know nothing.

I’ve had it up to my eyeballs.

For example, recently, political commentator Bryce Edwards (44) stepped up to the plate to give his opinion on youth representation in politics on TVNZ’s Breakfast.

“I just don’t know if we want a Parliament just full of 20 and 30-year-olds,” he said, ignoring the fact that Parliament is far from full of 20 and 30-year-olds.

“It’s a good thing to have diversity,” Edwards remarked, without a trace of irony. “It would be a mistake if we just have the young people coming in.”

Bryce Edwards, for once in his life is right. Imagine silly little Lizzie in parliament. Life isn’t a series of selfies and outraged tweets dearie.

If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard a young person be underestimated, judged or described as na?ve, immature, little, wee, precocious, self-absorbed, unrealistic, childish, juvenile, ignorant, idealistic or any number of other charming epithets, I’d be a filthy rich young upstart.

But if we even say the word “old”, we’re disrespectful monsters.

Another thing I “just don’t know if I want” is to hear yet another 40+ year old commentator offering their opinion on youth representation in this country.

Here’s a revolutionary idea: Why don’t you ask a young person?

Yeah, let’s not, if you are the example of someone who should be listened to. Personally, I find your thoughts as comforting as fingernails down a chalkboard, but you probably don’t know what a chalkboard is do you, sweetie? Too young, brought up with whiteboards.

And here is the proof of her stupidity.

The examples are too numerous to recount, but to provide just a couple: we started sending pxts in 2002, yet it took our politicians until 2015 to update the law on harmful digital communications.

We knew about global warming in the 1980s but it took politicians around the globe until 2016 to take appropriate, comprehensive action to try to save our planet.

Yes, and you weren’t even born then to know that it is a lie and no one is going to fix the planet anytime soon.

If this kind of performance is the hallmark of maturity in governance, it’s time for us kids to start kicking down the doors.

It is this sort of petulance and violence in language which means we just ignore stupid young things.

Perhaps if we had a few more people in Parliament who would actually live long enough to experience the results of their actions (or lack thereof) we’d all be better off.

We desperately need more young people voting, or we’ll see our voter turnout continue to decrease and the health of our democracy will suffer.

But for young people to vote, they need to feel like a welcome and valued part of the electorate.

Your move, oldies.

Our move is to ignore your angst filled screeching. Now piss off. Young people don’t vote and nothing will make them, and young MPs certainly won’t make them either. If you are so concerned though about older MPs then get your precious Labour party to move on people like Annette King (70) and Trevor Mallard (63). It seems the problem is in the Labour party.


– NZ Herald