The current crop of political incompetents: Part three

 

Jenny Salesa is the minister of building and construction.

Jenny Salesa is the minister of building and construction.

I have yet to see them building anything in their thought processes that you could put a construction on. She is also the minister of ethnic communities. Drums of the islands, you?re beating in my heart.

 

Damien O?Connor is the minister of agriculture.

Damien O?Connor is the minister of agriculture.

For a start, it would be a good idea for him to stop being a sheep, following the rest of his flock and he needs to cease bleating about the nine years of the last government. He needs to start rattling his dags if he is to avoid being a lamb to what is increasingly starting to look like a Labour party slaughter in 2020.

He is also the minister of biosecurity. I see under this heading that he wants more emphasis on animal traceability. Has he ever been to a farm? As he is minister for food?safety I suggest a conversation with Megan Woods. He is minister for rural communities which is great! Now he can go and find those missing animals.

Clare Curran is the minister of broadcasting, communications and digital media. She couldn?t have been given a more inappropriate portfolio. She needs to keep her mouth firmly shut.
She is also the minister of government digital services. I am not sure what exactly that entails but whatever it is she won?t be any good at it.

Ron Mark is the minister of defence. Fly me to the moon and let me play among the stars.
He is also the minister for veterans. How about offering a few joyrides in his aeroplanes? Perhaps instigate a Veterans Big Day Out.

Tracey Martin is the minister for children. Keeping charter schools would be a good start.
She is also the minister of internal?affairs. Is there anything in her CV to show that she has experience with internal?affairs? If so, with whom?

Martin is the minister for seniors. She could join Ron and they could have a Veterans and Seniors Big Day Out. This has the potential to be the government?s biggest achievement this term. Cindy could make a guest appearance with bubba and her baby daddy.

 

Shane Jones is the minister of forestry. Geez Shane! I?m sure he?s reached the point where he can?t see the wood for the trees. Truth is he won?t be able to see the trees either because he hasn?t planted any.

He is also the minister of infrastructure.?No doubt he is looking for some infrastructure right now. Any structure where he can go and hide. Minister of Regional Economic? Development.
A picture paints a thousand words!

Kris Faafoi is the minister of civil?defence. He gives a very good portrayal of the invisible?man. He probably doesn?t like going out in extreme weather due to climate change.
He is also the minister of commerce and consumer?affairs. If you come from a journalistic background it appears you can do anything.

Credit: Luke

James Shaw is the minister of statistics and climate?change. He uses the first to try and justify the second. He hasn?t realised climate change has been around since time began. If he read a bible he would?ve found out that some chap called Noah had to build an Ark because of rising waters way back when.

Willie Jackson is the minister of employment. Trying to get some of his own people out of bed in the morning, or anytime for that matter, will probably prove to be his biggest challenge.

Julie Ann Genter with Gerry Brownlee

Julie Ann Genter is the minister for women. This ministry is an insult to women. The minister seemingly gets her kicks from insulting men (particularly those of the old and white variety.)

Jan Logie

Jan Logie is the justice- parliamentary under-secretary. Does this mean she spends every day under Angry Andy? Not a nice thought. Never heard Logie talk any logic.

*(I was going to mark them individually on performance but seeing none have performed I soon realised it was a pointless exercise.)

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