‘Keep your hands to yourself, dear’

So said Judith Collins to Phil Twyford when he gently pawed her arm on the AM show this week.

Judith Collins and Phil Twyford. Photo credit: The AM Show

The gesture was nowhere near amorous: more like a plaintive puppy beseeching its master to go easy on him, he really couldn’t stop himself from peeing on the carpet!

Phil tries, but there is nothing masterful about him. Judith continues to eat him for breakfast week after week, punctuating her verbal wins with little giggles of delight.? She’s having a ball with an opponent who is such easy meat.

Phil can’t quite get his facts straight and doesn’t understand why his wide smile and winning personality aren’t enough. At some point though, he will wake up to the fact that he is never going to best the crusher.

Collins’ superior intellect, quick thinking and excellent recall will eventually convince the slower-witted, inaccurate and glibly embarrassing Twyford that he’d be better off not climbing into the ring with her at all.

Let’s hope that day doesn’t come too soon because when it does where will be the fun for us?? Or for Judith?