Workers of Whaleoil


SB has unwittingly brought us together with this series on the Workers of Whaleoil so I believe our time has come.

I have managed to sneak this through under her postings to keep my confidentiality as we can no longer continue to strive under this yoke of capitalist oppression.

I have recently had a book published, with a proper ISBN and all, and suggested to management that because I was now a ‘professional’ writer that my employment terms and conditions could be improved. This seems fair enough to me, after all – it should not all be about the value that we bring to the organisation or our skills, talent or work output, it should be about how many paper qualifications we have, just look at all the degrees on my wall, for example.

Anyway, I broached this with management and this was the response:

The Hon Iain Lees-Galloway, Minister for Workplace Relations has suggested that workers should collectivise to increase our bargaining power – so that is my appeal to you all, comrade Workers of Whaleoil. With our Labour leaders in power, we are now empowered to stand up to the rich prick bosses exploiting us. “Workers of Whaleoil Untie” – that is our rallying call.

I have had 500 placards printed to use when we march on the corporate headquarters of our oppressors.? ?They look like this:


Impressive, huh?? Clever whale imagery, don’t you think?

What’s that you say?

It’s UNITE, not UNTIE?? Damn and blast! 500 printed! Oh well …

The Hon Iain Lees-Galloway, Minister for Workplace Relations has also said that if they don’t accede to our demands on the grounds that their business model cannot afford it, it simply proves that their business model is wrong and that they need to move with the times.

I mean, it’s not like they can employ a bunch of cheap immigrants to take over from us, or outsource our roles to AI and robots, now, is it?? No, comrades, we have them in a corner over a barrel without a leg to stand on and the Hon Iain Lees-Galloway, Minister for Workplace Relations is on our side.?Rich?prick employers like Whaleoil need to be taught a lesson.

I gently suggested to management that if they thought that they could play hardball we, the Workers of Whaleoil Collective, would introduce rolling strike action and work to rule.? No more writing posts in the wee small hours or when we could fit it in around our other duties, no siree!

My suggestion for our first action is that we should ban the letter e from all future Whaleoil post contributions until management are prepared to negotiate in good faith.? To this end, I have created a logo for use at the bottom of any posts contributed to Whaleoil until?Whaleoil management concedes to the demands of the downtrodden Whaleoil proletariat workers.

Our comrades in the teachers union have closed down the evil charter schools – this is our moment of solidarity to strike a blow for truth, justice and the socialist way.

Workers of Whaleoil Untie Unite!

Dear reader its’s SB here.

Yesterday?s?wonderful Whaleoil worker was A) Lushington

Can you please help me work out which Whaleoil worker is the closet unionist from the clues above?


A) Spiker


C) Deb

D) HookerPhil