Comedy corner: Non-PC jokes guaranteed to offend

Welcome to politically incorrect Comedy corner: the one place on Whaleoil where you are allowed to read and share naughty and offensive jokes that make us all laugh even though we are not supposed to. If you are offended by these kinds of jokes then please do not read this post.

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride and said: “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear your trousers,” she said. “That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the one who wears the trousers in this relationship.” With that she flipped him her knickers and said: “Try these on.” He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. “Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your knickers!” She replied: “That’s right… and that’s the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.”

My Spider sense?tells me that the ute is driven by a Democrat…

“Won’t you kiss me, doctor,” asks a beautiful woman. “No, it would be against my code of ethics,” says the doctor. “Please just one kiss,” begs the woman. “It’s completely out of the question,” he goes on. “I shouldn’t even really be having sex with you.”

A man takes a seat on an aeroplane. Settled in, he sees a strikingly beautiful woman boarding. To his delight, she takes the seat beside him. Eager to strike up a conversation, he says, “Business trip or holiday?” She smiles and says, “Business – the annual sex convention in New York.” The man swallows hard.

Struggling to maintain his composure, he asks, “What’s your role at the convention then?” “Lecturer,” she responds. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really,” the man says. “What myths are those?” “Well,” the woman explains, “one popular myth is that African men are the best endowed, when, in fact, it’s the Native American Indians. Another misconception is that Frenchmen are the world’s best lovers, when in fact men of Jewish descent are the best in bed. We have, however, found that the best overall lovers are the rednecks from South America.” Suddenly, the woman becomes a little uncomfortable and blushes. “I’m really sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t really be discussing this with you. I don’t even know your name.” “Tonto,” the man says. “Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba.”