Jihadis ban single-use suicide vests

Oops, no, sorry – the headline read …

Al Shabaab bans single use plastic bags because of ‘threat to people and livestock’

So reports the Independent.? Quote.

The Somali militant Islamist group al-Shabaab has banned single-use plastic bags, according to a media outlet affiliated with the group.

In a broadcast on the jihadist-operated Radio Andalus last week, Jubaland regional leader Mohammed Abu Abdullah said plastic bags are a ?serious? threat to both humans and livestock and the waste they cause is bad for the environment. End of quote.

And bombings, shootings, throwing homosexuals of tall buildings, stoning adulterers are NOT a??serious? threat to humans? Quote.

In the same announcement, the al-Qaeda-affiliated group also banned the logging of rare trees. End of quote.

I trust that they have mentioned that to artillery command. Quote.

No mention was made of how the bans will be implemented or enforced in areas under al-Shabaab?s control, but the militants? indiscriminate use of violence usually encourages civilians to obey orders. End of quote.

Oh, I see. If you keep using those harmful plastic bags, you will be shot, which could have a detrimental effect on your longevity. (Please, nobody mention that to Countdown, Mitre 10 and all the other virtue signallers here.) Quote.

The group was totally driven out of the Somali capital Mogadishu in 2011 but it remains active around the country, and has also carried out devastating terror attacks in neighbouring Kenya.

While commentators joked online that the announcement made al-Shabaab the world?s first ?eco-friendly? jihadist movement, al-Qaeda and allied groups have in fact long been vocal about environmental issues.

A 2016 article in the magazine produced by the Yemeni branch of the terror group criticised former US president Barack Obama for not doing more to tackle climate change during his administration.

And in 2017, Taliban leader Hibatullah Akhundzada announced that Afghans should plant more trees because they play an ?important role in environmental protection, economic development and beautification of earth” as well as honouring Allah.

Afghanistan, like Somalia, suffers from water management and deforestation problems exacerbated by decades of war. End of quote.

Ah; eco-lite GM and gluten free organic friendly terrorism without additives, preservatives or added sugar.

A full list of the activities of this eco-friendly bunch is available here.

I wonder what stage their application for affiliate status with Greenpeace is at?