And your rates pay for this nonsense

Local Government NZ?s Climate Change Symposium?will take place in Wellington on Friday 7 September.

Delegates can expect to take away practical examples of how they can effectively engage with communities and stakeholders to address climate change.

Session topics for the event include:

  • The impacts of climate?change on communities;
  • ?Local Government NZ?s sea level rise work;
  • Strategies for adapting to the changing climate?? a panel discussion;
  • Engaging with communities to manage coastal?hazards;
  • Creative strategies for community and iwi?engagement;
  • Climate change and the law;
  • Who pays? A panel discussion;
  • Linked adaptation and mitigation strategy;
  • Climate change mitigation and local government; and
  • Tools for measuring carbon emissions.

To save your Local Body representative the trip to Wellington, here are the take-out highlights of the various sessions:

  • The impacts of climate?change on communities; – to date, zero.
  • ?Local Government NZ?s sea level rise work; – what sea level rise? 1 to 1.6 mm per year perhaps, maybe?
  • Strategies for adapting to the changing climate?? a panel discussion; – ignore it and get on with doing something useful; you know, rubbish collection, pot holes, berm mowing, clean water.
  • Engaging with communities to manage coastal?hazards; – a good idea but the connection to climate change is tenuous at best.
  • Creative strategies for community and iwi?engagement; – why not be honest and say “Maori” engagement?? Does that sound too racist?
  • Climate change and the law; – good idea. Let’s pass a law banning climate change!? Jacinda, Jacinda here’s another ban for you.
  • Who pays? A panel discussion;? ?- well that won’t take long – the long-suffering taxpayer/ratepayer, that’s who pays.
  • Linked adaptation and mitigation strategy; – this will?dynamically extend standards compliant convergence to?interactively impact cross functional growth strategies, etc.
  • Climate change mitigation and local government; – how to uniquely disintermediate principle-centered catalysts for change and collaboratively expedite alternative e-services.
  • Tools for measuring carbon emissions. – there are no ‘carbon’ emissions.

Okay, so I may have used an online gobbledegook generator for a couple of the latter ones but I doubt the sessions will produce anything more useful.

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