Dawn of the Bottom Inspectors

Caption: The Bottom Inspectors strike fear into another bum-bandit.

The infamous British comic, Viz, featured a long-running strip about the dreaded Bottom Inspectors. This Gestapo-like secret police had a terrifying habit of appearing out of nowhere and demanding an on-the-spot bum inspection. Sub-standard backsides were summarily dispatched to Bottom Correction Centres.

The Australian Taxation Office might have to start recruiting their own cabal of Bottom Inspectors if they?re to enforce their latest politically-correct policy. Quote:

The Australian Taxation Office is lauding a new inclusion benchmark that encourages LGBTI staff to bring their ?whole selves to work?. End of quote.

What on earth does that even mean? Are ATO employees in the habit of leaving an arm or a leg at home?

Of course, what it really seems to mean is that the ATO is asking its employees who just happen to be gay, to ?mo it up as much as possible around the workplace. Because nothing says ?hardworking public servant? quite like a twink being led around the office by a burly leatherman. Quote:

Last year, a survey from the Australian Public Service Commission found three per cent of ATO employees identified as LGBTI.

This year?s Census data revealed the number had grown to 3.5 per cent. End of quote.

Well, whoop-de-doo. Call me old-fashioned, but the only thing I care about is: can they do their job? Quote:

[2BG?s] Chris Smith is questioning how this ?benchmark? will help the ATO pick the right people for jobs.

?It?s not going to help you find a suitable candidate,? he says.

?What it?s going to do is seriously narrow your choice, automatically wiping out a lot of people who would be well suited to do a proficient job.

?But you know what the real problem is with sexuality quotas? How do you regulate it?? End of quote.

Enter, the Bottom Inspectors. With iron-fisting discipline, these stern guardians of the back-passages of power will soon sort out the cis from the sissy. A stellar resum? won?t do a job-seeker any good at all if their bottom isn?t up to measure. Female employees will no doubt bring new meaning to the old white collar slang of carpeting.

Jokes aside, quotas such as this, and fluffy nonsense about ?bringing their whole selves to work?, are frankly insulting to LGBTI workers. Not every gay is a flaming camper. As one gay friend has said to me, ?I like men. That?s it. That doesn?t define everything about me?. Another acquaintance has told me, ?There are a dozen things I?d identify myself as, ahead of ?gay?. I identify as a ?gamer? more than I do ?gay??. Quote:

Listener Sam has called in to tell Chris Smith he is transsex and isn?t on board with the move.

?The past few months I?ve been absolutely horrified over all this politically correct crap,? he says.

?For me, this is so degrading because if I went for a job and I got the job, I would be questioning did I get it because of my gender or did I get it because of my skills.? End of quote.