The end of the pussy hat

If the expression – “I wouldn’t be seen dead in…” was ever true for me, it would definitely apply to a pussy hat. I would come back and haunt anyone who even thought about it. As for the… er … ladies in the above photo, not only did they voluntarily photograph themselves in pussy hats at some kind of riot (Pussy Riot – get it?), but they have also ended up on the cover of Breitbart. I cannot think of anything more humiliating.

How can these people be so short of self-awareness that they don’t mind being seen like that? They even take photos of themselves. I could forgive them for the transgressions of youth, but that woman on the left is at least 45. And there she is, in the street, with her friends, taking selfies wearing headgear deliberately designed to look like their feminine parts. Even named after their feminine parts. Has the world gone mad?

Well, yes. We already know that. But the world actually just got a little bit madder, because there is a new development on the pussy hat horizon and you never saw it coming.? Pussy hats have been withdrawn. But not for the reasons that you all hope.

Breitbart?reports (if you can keep a straight face): quote.

An Irish woman has withdrawn the ?pussy hat? knitting pattern which she had posted online as a service to fellow female protesters preparing for President Trump?s visit to Ireland in November. end quote.

Well, great. She has seen the light. Mary, Mother of God. Common sense has prevailed.

Er… no. quote:

Woke activists had pointed out to her that some women have penises, not vaginas. end quote.

Sorry, what was that? Some women have…?WHAT?

(I did hear it said once that Helen Clark had… cojones, but I didn’t realise it was meant literally.)

I never knew…

So next time a male associate calls me ‘mate’ or ‘bro’… does this mean he thinks I’ve got..? Nooo…

I mean… I’m going to be looking sideways at all the women in the office tomorrow. There is one that looks as if she might…. no.

(I did meet a woman person once with fabulous long blonde hair and a 5 o’clock shadow. I never thought about this particular aspect. Well, I suppose I just did.)

The person who used to make pussy hats has given in to pressure from ‘woke’ people.

We won’t go there with the yellow rose hats.

If the reason for not wearing a pussy hat is because not all women have vaginas, then honestly, I’m lost for words.

The fact that she was made to feel she had to withdraw the pattern and apologise just makes it worse. She obviously moves in some toxic online circles. Boy, does she need to get out more.

I’d like to say I love it when the left eats itself, but this is truly bizarre.

But back to those women with penises… can’t resist…

What does this mean for the future of women’s underwear? Will Y fronts become the new norm in lingerie? Wouldn’t that make a lovely Christmas present for the wife?

(I suppose that women with this…er… condition?can still shop in the ladies underwear department, but will just have to put on their underwear back to front. I’m guessing here.)

It could make wearing yoga pants very interesting…

What about scratching? Men are always adjusting their attire, and I always assumed it was because of… well, you know. Are women going to start doing this now too? That’ll be a great look?in the queue for the post office, won’t it?

Compulsory prostate tests for women? Probably even less fun than the cervical smear. Speaking of which… how exactly..?

Forget it.

Well, I admit I won’t be sorry to see the end of the pussy hat. I never understood what it was all about anyway. Yes, it was supposed to be in response to Donald Trump’s infamous cry of “Grab them by the…”, but it was never a very smart response. Women going out with pussy hats on their heads? Isn’t that an invitation rather than a rebuff? Instead of saying – “I’m better than that, (I’m not just a …)”, aren’t they saying – “That’s exactly what I am?”

Marama would be thrilled. We really have reclaimed the C word.

Just for the record, and in case you think we are living in a parallel universe, no women on the planet have penises. Gentlemen, that is entirely your domain. And long may it stay that way.

But just one question that has been bothering me ever since I read the article.

Does a woman dress to the left or the right?

 

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