The Gay Cop Car is here to stay

Gay cop car heading to Queenstown.
Photo credit: The Spinoff

Back in February this year, the venerable Mister Slater wrote a post?on a Gay new initiative from Commissioner Bush on behalf of the New Zealand police.

In an attempt to show that the police can be just as gay as any other business, they blew ten thousand dollars of our easily wasted taxes by stickering up a patrol car with gay rainbow stripes.

The car was supposed to be returned to circulation with standard police livery after the Auckland and Wellington Pride Parades way back at the end of summer, but it seems that eventually, someone realised that blowing $10,000 for a two-week stunt was a bit wasteful and it was kept on for Community policing tasks, probably driven by one of the sixty-eight Diversity Liaison Officers.

Diversity liaison officers or DLOs in case you didn’t know, are Rainbow friendly police staff. DLOs are located throughout New Zealand to provide liaison between police and gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender?and intersex (Rainbow communities), apparently.

Surely all police staff like rainbows? Why would a cop have something against rainbows? Unless maybe they are being forced to drive around in a gay looking car and are sick of every drunk yob calling out ‘Hey Officer Fag, don’t beat me with your truncheon.’

But anyway, not content with just mincing about, signalling the police’s new virtues in the gay car at the Auckland and Wellington Gay Pride Parades, the car is now being sent all the way from Auckland down to Queenstown for the annual Gay In formerly known as Gay Ski Week, but now re-branded as ‘Winter Pride’.

So more of your taxes are being wasted by sending a car all the way from Auckland to Queenstown. That will be a couple of grand for sure. But not to worry, it is coming out of the recruiting budget!

Apparently, this whole mess is simply a ploy to recruit more L.G.B.T.T.Q.I+ officers. (Will they be known as Alphabet Officers?)

Of course, the police don’t actually know if they have recruited any extra gay cops because of a gay car as they are not allowed to ask if people are gay!

Constables Queen La Quisha, left, and Ima Ballsdrop, right, along with a traditionally dressed Police Officer.

By some accounts, it appears that it may become compulsory to wear a new more inclusive uniform when driving the Gay Cop Car. This may be the type of thing they are looking at.

The commissioner prefers to go undercover as Officer Dangle.

So please, if you see the Gay Cop Car rolling around Queenstown and it makes you realise, that even though you prefer Alphabet People as your sexual partner, you could still be a great cop, make sure you check out www.newcops.co.nz?

I reckon the only thing that’s missing from the Gay car though is a decent personalised number plate. After all, it would only cost another thousand of our dollars to get ‘WE?GAYS’ or something similar. Surely that would attract hundreds of new recruits!

Better work stories everyone.

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