The one thing your kids need to know about politics

Caption: You just know who drinks the soy milk in that household.

There?s an old saying that, when someone has a vegan cat, you know it ain?t the cat whose making the choices, there. The same goes for ?woke? children spouting fashionable lefty talking-points. Quote:

Kenmore South State School grade four student Harper Nielsen, aged nine, was given detention and threatened with suspension for not standing when Advance Australia Fair was played in assembly.

She said she believes the lyrics ?we are young? marginalises indigenous people. ?The reason why I don?t sing it or stand is because Advance Australia Fair means advance White Australia,? she told The Courier-Mail.

?When it says we are young it completely ignores the fact that indigenous culture was here for over 50,000 years before colonisation.? End of quote.

Spare me.

When I was nine, all I cared about was playing with my Six Million Dollar Man action figure, trying to sneak a glimpse at the nudie scenes on Number 96, and sulking because my elder siblings wouldn?t take me with them to see Blazing Saddles. It wasn?t that I was unaware that politics existed ? Gough Whitlam was well-nigh a secular saint in our household, and Nixon?s resignation speech was broadcast on the PA at our school ? but I didn?t have a single real clue about any of it (I didn?t have the foggiest idea why Nixon was resigning) that wasn?t absorbed wholesale from my parents and siblings. Quote:

Harper has the support of her ?proud? dad Mark.

?She?s shown incredible bravery in wanting to stick to what she believes in and to make a stance for what she believes is right?, he told ABC radio on Wednesday. End of quote.

No, she?s just trying to please Mummy and Daddy by regurgitating whatever of their bien pensant lefty nonsense she?s picked up by osmosis, between the lentil salad and the vegan, sugarless, paleo cheesecake.

Caption: “The Modern Parents”, Viz comics.

I?m perfectly aware of this because I was a brat cut from the same cloth. When I was ten, I was disciplined by my classroom teacher for refusing to acknowledge that Malcolm Fraser was prime minister, after the Whitlam Dismissal. Was my show of defiance a brave, ?woke? political stance? Hell, no. I was just parroting what I?d heard from my die-hard Labor parents and hippy elder brother. Quote:

But the stance has angered Senator [Pauline] Hanson, who posted a video on Facebook calling for Harper to be kicked out of school.

?Here we have a kid whose been brainwashed and I tell you what, I?d give her a kick up the backside,? the One Nation leader said.

?This kid is headed down the wrong path and I blame the parents for it, for encouraging this. End of quote.

I blame the parents, too. To their credit, my parents didn?t fawn over me for being a right-on, politically-aware darling. Hell, no: they gave me a verbal clip over the ear and told me not to go?rabbiting on about stuff I didn?t understand, and to not be rude and disruptive in school. Quote:

Senator Hanson said there was support for the anthem amongst the indigenous community as sporting stars regularly stood for the anthem.

?I?m angry about this. I?m proud of the Australian flag and the national anthem as everyone should be and so was Cathy Freeman,? she said.

?We were all proud of her, her cultural background, the Aboriginality, and the whole fact that she carried the two flags.

?She stood at the podium with the national anthem being played. Have they told this kid that?

?If it?s good enough for Cathy Freeman, Johnathon Thurston, and Warren Mundine to stand for the National anthem, it should be good enough for this nine-year-old brat.?

Shadow education minister Jarrod Bleijie echoed Senator Hanson?s words, saying on Twitter she deserved suspension if she continued her protest. ?Stop the silly protest and stand and sing proudly your National Anthem. Refusing to stand disrespects our country and our veterans. Suspension should follow if she continues to act like a brat,? he tweeted. End of quote.

I?m forever grateful to my parents for pulling me into line and telling me to behave myself. Otherwise, I?d have spent the next decade or so being even more obnoxiously opinionated than I was.

Parents who use their children as living political ventriloquist dummies, gottle o? geer-ing their way through a painfully rehearsed set of shallow left-wing talking points du jour, while the non-gender-specific parent smugly sips a glass of soy milk, deserve a very un-safe space in hell. Not only are they lining their precious little theybies up for a childhood of wedgies and nicknames, they?re depriving them of a fundamental early life lesson: stick to childish things, and let the grown-ups talk.

There?ll be plenty of time for them to prattle infantile political gibberish when they?re old enough to vote Green.