How to annoy & influence people

by Rantykiwi

Two boxes of ‘Whale meat’

So… today my Whale Meat order arrives at our new office.

Step one: Courier driver calls to say “I’m outside your road and your company isn’t here”. I respond “Come into company ‘X’ – they own us now. Drop it at reception”.

Courier driver

Step two: Decidedly frosty phone call from receptionist – “You have a parcel”.

So I wander off to collect a poly box and explain after a wee lecture about “Whales being protected” that?”It’s steak and bacon and sausages from a company run by a mate of mine with a very good sense of humour (to deliberately cause offence) that you’ve fallen for”.

Resident alphabet identifier & the lynch mob

Step three: Deposit Whale meat branded box by my desk only to be attacked by resident alphabet identifier and the lynch mob she has whipped up about “Eating whales is immoral and you are an evil specimen of humanity”.

Step four: Explain again the “Company run by a mate with a sense of humour story. Cue much wringing of hands and embarrassment, interspersed with promises to at least look at the website.

Step five: Load loot into my car, head to H&T, convey above to Noctambulo. Much laughter and a successful mini-sump. Home safe now, fridge looking good from a meat POV. Now all that remains is to make some mileage out of this tomorrow.