Looks like it’s time to start carrying mongooses

Caption: That’s the second scariest thing I’ve seen in a toilet bowl.

Everyone loves a good tale of poetic justice, and this one is a bit more bizarrely poetic than most. ?Only in America? used to be the saying, but lately China seems to be competing with even Florida in the weird news stakes. Quote:

Recently, netizens in China were shocked when a bizarre incident happened in the Jiangxi city of Fuzhou. On November 22nd, a man was found dead in a hotel room after a woman made a police report that he had allegedly raped her. End of quote.

As rapists go, this perp was undeniably creative. His comeuppance seems quite apt. Quote:

The woman lodged a police report and told them a strange story where the man had apparently brought three of his venomous snakes to the hotel room. He had asked the woman to have sex with him and when she refused, he threatened her by saying that he would have one of his snakes bite her.

Having no choice, the woman gave in to his demands and he raped her. After that, he went to the hotel bathroom and chilled out in the bathtub while playing with his deadly reptiles. Suddenly, he shouted for the woman and told her to leave the room as he had been bitten by one of his venomous snakes.

However, he told the woman not to call the police or seek medical treatment. End of quote.

He actually expected her to go out of her way to help him? Wisely, she went to the cops instead. Quote:

The woman had quickly left the hotel in a taxi and headed straight to the police station to lodge a report over her alleged rape. When the police arrived, they found the man dead from the snake bite and caught all three of the snakes that were still in the room. They are currently investigating the case. End of quote.

Meanwhile, a fellow in Thailand whose snake-encounters were strictly non-rapey didn?t die, but still suffered a fate that many men might regard as nearly as bad. Quote:

A Thai man has suffered the unthinkable when he sat on his toilet to use the bathroom in the morning. Terdsak Kaewpangpan, 45, told reporters that he went to his toilet to have his normal bowel movement when he felt a bite. End of quote.

I have a jar of particularly potent chilli paste named ?Cobra?, which has been known to metaphorically bite, on the toilet the next morning, but for the unfortunately-named Terdsak, the bite was literal. Quote:

?I was about to get up from the toilet. Then I felt a bite. I immediately knew it was a snake. I stood up, squeezed the python?s head and ripped it off me. The blood was everywhere,? he said on Amarin TV.

Terdsak ran to his neighbor who felt his pain and drove him to the hospital. Meanwhile, animal control was called and luckily for Terdsak they determined that the snake was non-poisonous. Unfortunately for Terdsak he had to get 15 stitches to the tip of his penis and scrotum.

As for the snake, it fought valiantly to defend its territory. For a grueling 30 minutes, the snake fought man to see who would be the king of the porcelain throne. It hissed and striked out, but the snake was no match for the Thai Animal control. The humans won the battle and escorted the snake out of the premises.

There has been a rise of snakes coming out of toilets in Thailand. End of quote.

I?ve seen some scary things in the toilet bowl, but fortunately, a snake hasn?t been one of them.