Melbourne, let your root rats run free!

Caption: Some people get really carried away by the Myer Christmas sales.

As if Bourke street, Melbourne?s main thoroughfare, hasn?t suffered enough, with two terrorist attacks, not to mention rampaging African gangs, in recent years, now there?s derros humping like stray dogs.

Could a headline get any more Aussie than this? Quote:

Two People Have Been Caught Rooting Literally In The Middle Of Melbourne’s CBD.

Like, actual rooting in the actual CBD. End of quote.

Now, I?ve seen some gross stuff in Melbourne?s CBD. Even worse than the West Coast Eagles Grand Final parade was when I had to make the kids do an abrupt about-turn and walk the other way, when we turned a corner in Fitzroy gardens and utterly failed to disturb a dealer getting a blowie from a crackwhore. While they were standing (and kneeling) right in the middle of the path, at least they were screened on other sides by bushes. Even crackheads have standards, I suppose.

I suppose getting a room is out of the question when you?re homeless. Quote:

Here’s one for ya – two presumably extremely horny people have been caught mid-sex romp in the middle of one of the busiest streets in Melbourne.

That’s right, two people have been caught on Melbourne’s Bourke St bumping uglies – rather vigorously too – right out of the front of Myer.

In a video posted to Facebook – now deleted, but luckily nothing’s ever gone from the internet – Victoria Police can be seen approaching the exercising couple, who to be fair, despite being in the middle of Melbourne’s CBD, had the good grace to cover themselves with a thin top sheet. End of quote.

Thank the Lord for small mercies, I suppose. Two crusty hobos making the beast with two scabby, unwashed backs for all the world to see just doesn?t bear thinking about.

Have pity on the poor coppers, though. Quote:

When he realised his goose was cooked, the male in the couple stood up, pulled up his cargo shorts and just simply tried to walk off down the footpath.

UPDATE – We contacted Victoria Police and they provided us with the following statement:

Police were called to Bourke Street about 7.55pm on Sunday January 7 to reports of a man and a woman acting in an indecent manner. Upon attending, police arrested a 27-year-old man and a 36-year-old woman, both of no fixed place of address. Both will be charged on summons for behave in offensive manner in a public place and sexual exposure. End of quote.


Should have just chucked a bucket of water over them.


The original article seems to have vanished, but the Daily Mail have covered the story here.