Where will they fit the pony rides?

Caption: Qantas passengers express their disappointment as the naked oiled virgins serve daquiris with plastic straws.

We really are the most cosseted, indulged generation in human history. Previous generations of humans were merely mildly inconvenienced by paltry stuff like famine, or fighting off the iron heel of actual fascism. Today the brave warriors of the social justice generation are battling such horrors as a drunken establishment hag not getting ?her turn? in the White House and a blustering buffoon actually restoring America?s fortunes, not to mention acts of ?aggression? so inconsequential that they are literally ?micro?.

It?s a time of such unremitting horror that blankies and colouring books just aren?t enough to soothe the shattered nerves of generation Safe Space. quote.

Qantas has stepped up its plans to begin non-stop flights from Australia?s east coast to New York and London from 2022 [and] ? Research to be released today finds passengers want spaces on the record-long flights where they can relax and exercise including on exercise bikes. Others have called for childcare facilities, a bar and bunk beds. end quote.

And I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it’s just not in cards now is it?

Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

Even Louis XIV would raised a powdered eyebrow at such patrician self-indulgence.

Remember, this is the same demographic of elites who are most likely to vote Green and fret about climate change. But, hey, sacrifices are for little people. Now, peel them another grape. Organic, of course. quote.

Qantas says its research, conducted late last year in conjunction with Sydney University?s Charles Perkin Centre, found a strong desire for fresh cabin designs to reflect the needs of passengers on such long flights. The most common suggestions include ?innovative cabin designs across the entire aircraft, considering both seat and non-seat spaces to focus on a broad range of traveller needs including comfort, sleep, dining and entertainment??.

Qantas says passengers called for ?sense of separation? experiences where they can be social but then ?zone out? with either virtual reality relaxation zones, audio mindfulness experiences, or broader in-flight entertainment.?

Many also called for an in-flight cafe serving alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks along with snacks. They also called for spaces to do exercises; others suggested noise-cancelling headphones.


Bouncy castles, Olympic swimming pools and solid gold toilets will have to wait: after all, they?ve got to think of the planet.