Bridges’ underpants stealing strategy

Southpark Gnomes Underwear for Profit Plan Image credit:

The government is “flashing the cash” to secure votes and the other political parties are finalising and executing their strategies behind closed doors.

Always the bridesmaid, NZ First has four considerable challenges to their survival past 2020. Historically under MMP, minor parties in government don’t survive the next election. Can Peters break this pattern???

Second, NZF are polling below 5%. Even if they get over this hurdle the next one is to gain the neutrality essential to keeping all political alliances on the table. Matthew Hooton says that behind the scenes Peters has begun the process of distancing himself from Labour by quietly undermining their ministers.

But Winston Peters must employ his considerable political cunning to jump the fourth hurdle. To claim bridesmaid position with National means disposing of the bloody knife in his hand and eating his own words. Newshub reports. Quote.

Winston Peters does not like Simon Bridges, saying “National is leaderless, it’s moribund, it’s vacuous and it’s got bitter and jealous. No party can survive that sort of lack of leadership and survive long.” End of quote.


Even if Peters moves far enough away from Labour and manages to cross the great divide toward National, will his efforts be wasted because National don’t trust him enough to let him back in?

Simon Bridges is still smarting from the 2016 knife in the back, so this will be a test of his personal political prowess. Will he choose to destroy Peters’s voter credibility or will he take the more challenging but smarter option of building a bridge???This decision is a big one.??Pettiness or political prowess. Quote.

Newshub reports from National Party caucus this week that Simon Bridges is keeping his cards close to his chest when it comes to the possibility of working with Winston Peters. 

Newshub can reveal National Party MPs discussed ruling him out and even formulating plans to try and crash his vote behind closed doors at the National Party Caucus retreat in Hamilton.” end of quote.


Which way will National go in their bid to steal votes and win 2020? And how far down that chosen path are they?

Newshub understands National is working on a strategy to crash Mr Peters vote below the 5% threshold so he’s not an option for either party.  We’ve also been told caucus has come up with a magic number – 47% – that’s what National thinks it needs to get into government if it can successfully destroy NZ First.”

End of quote.

Before Bridges gets too carried away, there is an important lesson for him in the “SouthPark gnomes stealing underpants for profit plan”.   Quote.

Tweek?s underpants are being stolen. He has only one pair left.

Tweek invites the boys to sleep over and catch the thieves in the act. In the wee hours of the morning, the boys spot a gnome sneaking into Tweek?s bedroom and stealing his last pair of underpants.

?Why are you stealing my underpants?? Tweek shrieks. ?That?s my last pair!?

The gnome replies, ?It?s all part of our business plan.? The boys accept the gnome?s invitation to follow him to his headquarters and learn about their business.

When the boys arrive at the gnomes? headquarters they see piles and piles of underpants, all shapes, sizes, colors, and styles. They are heaped in huge piles everywhere. Gnomes scurry to and fro, pushing enormous carts of underpants around.

?What are you doing with all these underpants?? the boys ask.

The gnome confidently replies, ?Oh, this is just the collection phase: Phase 1.?

?What is Phase 2?? Now the boys are getting really curious.

The gnome doesn?t know, so he introduces them to the CEO gnome, who fires up a PowerPoint presentation.

?We have a three-step plan for our business,? the CEO gnome proudly says as he clicks to the first slide. It says, ?Phase 1: Collect Underpants.?

He clicks for Phase 2, which we see has no strategy?just a giant question mark. Phase 2 is blank.

He clicks again for Phase 3, and the slide reads, ?Phase 3: Profit!!!? The gnomes cheer as the CEO reads this last step aloud. There is much rejoicing.

Too bad the gnomes will never reach Phase 3. Without Phase 2, they?re toast.


  1. Crash Winston?s vote
  2. ???
  3. Win