Cindy wants you all to speak Mowdee

If you know what most of these words mean, you might be one of a million.

Wannabe, Maori Princess Cindy wants you to get off your nono and learn to speak Te Reo Maori. In an article on the Radio NZ website, your minority government prime minister extols the virtues of learning to speak Maori and advises that her government has pledged to ensure that one million people in New Zealand will be able to speak basic te reo M?ori by 2040.

The Crown’s new M?ori Language Strategy was launched at the national kapa haka festival Te Matatini. Apparently a key focus of the strategy will be to look at building te reo capability of rangatahi, and developing initiatives to foster language learning.

Hey, here’s an idea Cinders, how about when you are putting out press releases, launching your important strategies etc to encourage more people to learn one of our official languages, maybe you could provide an English translation for the random Maori words that you scatter everywhere? (Rangatahi by the way means ‘youth’). Quote.

Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern said she wanted people to feel confident speaking te reo M?ori. End quote.

Cool so we’re going to chuck heaps of our money at something that is already pushed massively; and for what? Because she wants everyone to feel comfortable speaking te reo Maori.

There are those jolly feelings getting in the way again. Why does this government feel the need to make everything light and fluffy? It’s like the country is run by Kindy teachers. But what’s the plan, you say? Quote.

We’ve got a really aspirational goal. We want by 2040 a million New Zealanders to be able to k?rero with confidence in te reo M?ori, so we’ve got a lot of work to do to get there. En

d quote.


A million people to be able to speak Maori with confidence? Okay, how are you going to measure that Cindy? Maybe just ask people in the 2041 census? Nah, we all know that people deliberately fudge those things; I know, I’ve put rubbish down in them. (So hang me, I’m not keen on intrusions in my life by the authorities).

Silly me, this is the government that only wanted to have their success measured when they were idealistic newbies. Now that they know they will never meet any measured target, they simply remove them.

Ardern has even got in early with this one calling it an ‘aspirational target‘, which is code for ‘we know we haven’t got a hope but it sounds good and we hope it will get more people to vote for us’. You’ve heard it before, like when Twyford blathers on with his excuses for not meeting Kiwibuild targets, ‘I’m not going to apologise for having aspirational goals’!

But Cindy, what about your own failure to speak Maori confidently? Quote.

I’ve been very open about the fact that I’m on a language journey.
“I hope by being open about that perhaps I’ll create a space for others to be comfortable about learning in a very public way. End quote.

Good grief, there she is being “open” again. A “language journey”, I wonder where she’s off to? I have no idea what she’s talking about when she says she’s hoping to “create a space.” Does she mean a safe space where we can all tuhinga (cuddle)? I’m sorry I don’t understand the “learning in a very public way” either. Are people supposed to be sitting out in public when they learn?

Ooh, look youse fullas, there’s some ‘magic puha’. photo/Lori Duff

Or maybe they just have to publicly tell everyone on Facebook about it? I’ve got a friend who’s apparently decided to become a Maori. She’s an Aussie but I don’t think that matters anymore. She has done a te reo course recently and can’t help telling everybody about it on Facebook. I have had to unfollow her! The weird thing is that there seems to only be one Maori looking person that took her course. All the rest were pakeha (Europeans!)

So here’s a question for the rangatira nui, (big boss). If Maori aren’t interested in taking the free courses that are already available, how will you get them interested, and more importantly, why should we bother?

Because at the end of the day, it’s our money that you’re spending.

PS. While you’re at it, can you please ask Awful Amanda from the AM Show to stop pronouncing Wanaka and Whanganui with an H at the start of it? There is no such place as Hwarnaka or Hwarnganui.