For sale: Stuffed. Going cheap

Most of Whaleoil?s readers will never have had the pleasure of hearing some of Australia?s legendary afternoon telly furniture salesmen, from Franco Cozzo enthusiastically announcing a ?Grand Sale! Grand Sale! Grand Sale!? in his thick Italian accent, to the Lounge Discounters guy screaming, ?It?s freebie time!? But you may soon hear similar screams of desperate salesmanship ringing from Stuff?s headquarters.

As we reported recently, the bean-counters at Fairfax?s new owners were running their gimlet eyes over their new purchases, sorting the duds from the studs. It looks like they?ve made up their minds on whose is the most flagging performance. Quote:

Nine Entertainment has confirmed it is selling its regional and community newspapers and its New Zealand operations following its recent $4 billion merger with Fairfax Media and booked a rise in first-half earnings. End of quote.

It was back in the 80s that corporate newspeak began to redefine ?getting sacked? as ?new opportunities?. It?s telling that the suits at Nine are using the same language. Quote:

Nine said it is ?exploring potential value maximising opportunities for its non-metropolitan media assets, namely Australian Community Media and Printing (ACM), Stuff New Zealand and events.?

?To this end, Nine has appointed an adviser to manage the divestment processes, and has received initial indications of potential interest from a number of parties in relation to each business for sale,? Nine said in its interim earnings statement. End of quote.


Grand sale! Grand sale! Grand sale!

But Stuff are still putting on a brave face. Quote:

Chief executive Sinead Boucher said she did not believe there was any reason for them to be worried.

“We have got lots of strong assets including New Zealand’s biggest digital platform, Stuff, and a very rapidly-growing and exciting platform in Neighbourly, plus all of our print assets.” End of quote.


Maybe the New Zealand government will make their relationship official, and just outright buy Stuff as their media wing.