Help an oiler out: Do you know this man?

Years ago I used to live in Auckland, a nice part but still Auckland, so of course we had to be very careful with security, locking doors and windows, setting alarms etc.

When I left for the South Island, it was like moving back in time. We used to say Arrowtown was New Zealand, thirty years ago. It only took us about two weeks to realise that there just wasn’t much in the way of crime down there. And it is quite freeing being able to live without the constant fear that we had in Auckland.

I have always felt the same way about Mangawhai Heads, where we have a bach. Sure there are always a few mongrels about over summer, but it really is a pretty cruisy spot.

But it looks like you have to lock your doors everywhere now, even when you are at home!

Last Saturday morning at 4.07am, I was asleep in my room. Thankfully my wife wasn’t there and neither was the 88 year old Mum in law.

The piece of crap pictured above came into my house, had a wee look around, then started to very quietly make his way into my room. He buggered off when I challenged him and I managed to see him run up the driveway.

Unfortunately, I am a bit laid up at the moment with a badly broken collarbone, so I decided that discretion may be the better part of valour, and chose to call the Police and keep watch. Being naked at the time may well have helped me come to that decision as well!

The local officer was there within 15 minutes, which was pretty amazing in a small town like this, but we weren’t able to locate the man.

The next day, I put a post on the local Facebook page asking for info and it was soon revealed that this mongrel had been prowling about for a long time, being disturbed at different properties on my street at 2am, 4am and finally at 6am, when these security cam stills were obtained.

There is something seriously wrong with an individual for him to behave like this. The property with the pool here is extremely hard to access. He basically had to climb up a cliff and get over a very serious razor wire fence to get to this pool area. He spent about 40 minutes there, eventually getting completely naked and taking a dip before buggering off with a blow up swan and the lady owner’s sunhat!

The owners of this house were also both home at the time (funnily enough he has his arm in a cast too!). Word has it he might even be an oiler as well.

So my request to you all is please just have a think about this bloke. Do you recognise him? Do you recognise the T-shirt with its distinctive three bright blocks on the back, similar perhaps to a tradie’s shirt? Have you seen the very distinctive swan turn up somewhere?

If anyone happens to recognise anything or might have any info at all that they might think could be of any assistance, please feel free to email me at raceteam at or call Senior Constable Cato of the Mangawhai Police on 09 423 1060 or Crimestoppers on 0800 500 122.

Thanks in advance folks, and please, lock your doors!