Inside the mind of a trans-woman

The Rainbow Times

The transition of male to female, or vice versa, is well outside my own inclinations. Born female, I am indisputably, happily and gloriously female. To discard my femininity is unthinkable, tragic even. There is absolutely no reason to kill myself off simply to be resurrected as my antithesis. Why do others do it?

Diana used to be male, until one day he decided he would be better as a woman. Quote.

I realized that something about my gender felt mismatched when I was a teenager, but I convinced myself I was wrong because I was ashamed of admitting that I wanted to be a girl. No one had ever told me that those sort of feelings were valid. 

Rather, I was constantly called a girl as an insult to my masculinity, and my bullies used my femininity to degrade me on the basis of my assumed male gender. I was gay, according to every source at my disposal. 

It never crossed my mind that I had a choice about my body, my name, or that I could self-identify gender.? End of quote.

Male to female transition guide

The young bullied Diana as a confused teenager was a perfect target for subversion. Angry, vulnerable and powerless, Diana was initiated into gender choice. Up to that point, it appears he had accepted the sex he was born with, despite not fitting the typical male stereotype.

However when Diana?s teenage brain was taught about the prospect, and the choice, to self-identify as a woman, he chose that path. Quote.

When I first came out as trans when I was 23, I struggled to accept whether my experience was authentic. 

Society f****d me up in that regard?there were so many subliminal and overt messages that undermine the fact that being trans is even possible, or ?real.? 

end of quote

Society or his own decisions f****d him up? Diana?s journey wasn?t easy and took six years. He blames society for the slow progress and for doubts he had about the validity of his adopted persona.

How did he manage to stay on his chosen path? Quote.

In those early days before I made the dive into transition, I called a trans woman I knew and talked to her for two hours, trying to explain why I wanted to transition?as if I needed to justify the decision. 

Really, I was trying to convince myself that I was making the right choice. After I vomited up my insecurities, she sighed and told me this: Men don?t think seriously about becoming women and taking estrogen. If you think about transitioning all the time, you?re probably trans.? End of quote.

For Diana to stay on the trans path required considerable input from others. The trans gender community is heavily supported by psychiatric and health professionals who have succumbed to a particular ideology. Quote.

You do not want to be met with hostility or skepticism because a provider disagrees with gender transition or isn?t up to speed on the proper treatment of transgender patients.? End of quote.

In other words, choose your teachers wisely. Otherwise, you are likely to be very unhappy or fall off the wagon of an expensive and painful future of endless psychological counselling, hormone replacement therapy and gender reassignment surgery. Quote.

(In case you want more evidence that biological sex is big old myth: Even our ?male? genitalia bears traces of a previous sex: There is a scar going down the middle of the testicles.

This scar is typically darker in color to the surrounding skin, and runs like a seam all the way toward the anus. It is called the perineal raphe, and is where the urogenital swellings fuse together in utero after the production of testosterone. If they hadn?t fused, that tissue would be your labia; we?re all female until we aren?t. So, you see, regardless of our ?biological sex,? our bodies are produced from the same basic form, and they carry scars from long before birth to remind us of that.)? End of quote.

What?s this. Our biological sex is a myth and actually we are all female until we aren?t? This is the same argument for being born male until you decide that you aren?t. It?s nonsense. We are all without sex until it is assigned in the womb.

Basic biology is that we are all modelled from the same clay, two cells (a spermatozoon and an ovum) meet and create a zygote. The zygote divides rapidly into more cells (the embryo) and the small human grows. Quote.

The sex of an early embryo cannot be determined because the reproductive structures do not differentiate until the seventh week. Prior to this, the child is considered bipotential because it cannot be identified as male or female.? End of quote.

Sexual differentiation in humans

Bags not tell Diana that his argument on human sexuality is a total myth and that his pain, money and time have been wasted on a very bad life choice.

What Diana needed was higher calibre psychologists and health professionals who could have negated his bad childhood experiences and adolescent collywobbles.  

What Diana got was a repressive life sentence to forgo his natural body and adopt an alien entity.  What a waste. But there is hope. What has been learned can be unlearned – if Diana wants to transition back to the sex he was born with.