I don’t give a damn what you believe. It is who you are that matters.

By FireRetarded

So Miss Fire is home, and yes Monkey Shoulder three batch blended, duty free whiskey is stunning. Isle of Islay whiskey just took a back seat.

However if I may, a wee perspective from having dealt across many years of various stuff happening.

Being involved in serious and or fatal events is never easy, especially when you have no training, or just a course a few years back to assist in dealing with what you are confronted with. Even when you have been trained there are problems. At the time you do what needs to be done, you focus on the problem.

If you have training, experience and some ideas, these are applied to try and effect a positive outcome. Where it is not possible you move to recover with maximum dignity so that families can grieve and move on with life.

It matters not at the time what the person did, what they believed, who they might have hurt by words or action, or what they believe about anything. What you do right then, when you can look in your own eyes and say, I did all I could, that is important.

What is equally important is to be able to recognise the most selfish yet liberating thought. This happened before I got here, it was nothing to do with me or anything I did.

Sometimes they die while you are working to save them, it doesn?t matter who they are, what they believe or have done, it is important to understand that they would have died no matter what you did or didn?t do. This is for your own healing.

It may be overwhelming, it usually always is, especially when their family or friends are right there over your shoulder. Those, you remember the most, along with the ones where it is just you and them and there isn?t a damn thing you can do to stop what is about to happen to them.

It is afterwards that makes the difference. Sometimes it is a cup of tea and a chat, sometimes beer or something harder and a chat. Sometimes it is just a hand on the shoulder and a shared look.

Either way it is all the little boxes that get locked away, that come back at all sorts of unwanted times.

That is where the hurt and isolation can occur, one big box or lots of small ones adding up over time.

And the cause is irrelevant, the boxes build up.

The best cure is releasing them calmly, no hatred, no hysterics. Tears will happen, emotions do that.

Please if you have no understanding of what I am trying to say, say nothing. If you do, then understand that there are people who don?t want to fix you, they just want to share the load.

I have never stopped trying to help anyone because of who they might have been, it was about who they could be.

And I never give a damn what you believe in. It is who you are that matters. Don?t insult me by talking about nasty people that hurt your feelings. Tell me about how you are changing their thinking, by your actions.