Comedy corner: Non-PC jokes guaranteed to offend

Warning

Welcome to politically incorrect Comedy corner: the one place on Whaleoil where you are allowed to read and share naughty and offensive jokes that make us all laugh even though we are not supposed to. If you are offended by these kinds of jokes then please do not read this post



The queen of England was visiting one of Canada’s top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.
“Oh my god!”, said the Queen, “That’s disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?”
The doctor leading the tour explains, “I’m sorry your ladyship, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen. If he doesn’t do that five times a day, they would explode and he would most likely die instantly.”
“Oh, I am sorry” said the Queen.
On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient a blow job.

“Oh my God”, said the Queen, “What’s happening in there?”
The Doctor replied, “Same problem, better health plan.”




A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult surgery. A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial spongebath.

“Nurse”, he mumbles, from behind the mask. “Are my testicles black?” Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.” He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, are my testicles black?” Concerned that he may elevate his vitals from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and sheepishly pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She takes a close look and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir!”The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly,”Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely… A r e – m y – t e s t – r e s u l t s – b a c k?”




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