The Whaleoil dictionary: Part two

Photoshopped image credit: Luke

Fake News Fisher A nickname for NZ Herald journalist David Fisher. He gained this moniker after falsely writing in an article that Whaleoil published a photoshop of Jacinda Ardern’s husband (sic) in a tutu.

Fat-bastard tax A tax on an overweight person instead of on so-called unhealthy foods. For example, a fat-bastard tax on passengers on a plane would mean that they are charged extra for every kilo they are over the average body weight, in the same way, that they are charged for extra luggage. Alternatively, they could be charged (to avoid embarrassment) for the total combined weight of themselves and their luggage.

Feral Someone who acts in an uncivilised way. A famous example was the West Coast man who drove his car while drunk, smashed into the bedroom of a house and killed his friend who was a passenger.

Figjam (F* I’m Good, Just Ask Me) A nickname for Simon Power, a former New Zealand politician. He was a member of the National party and became minister of justice in the 2008 2011 National-led government.

FIFO Fit in or f* off.

Flip flop This refers to a political party or politician changing their stance on something.

Free Speech Denier A term first heard on Whaleoil. It is an ironic label that uses left-wing emotive tactics. It refers to anyone who is anti-free speech. The first ever Whaleoil Free Speech Denier of the week post was about Media group Stuff.


Gunts This is a term coined by Technomage who created a design for t-shirts and grocery bags in the Whaleoil store. It is a result of Green co-leader Marama Davidson wanting to reclaim the word C*nt and is a combination of the word Green and the derogatory word C*nt.

H1 A nickname for Helen Clark, a former prime minister who later went on to lead the UNDP.

H2 A nickname for Heather Simpson, a mysterious woman who once haunted the beehive but who did not appear during the National party nine-year reign but has magically reappeared during the Ardern era.

Having a conversation A reference to a common saying of Jacinda Ardern’s, which means that nothing will actually be achieved. It is similar to the phrase I have established a new working group.?

He irons his shirt with a wok A phrase that means the person is overweight.

He has the body of a half-sucked Throatie A phrase that means he is very thin and without muscles.

Hey Clint A nickname referring to Gareth Hughes, aka UFO boy or The Man Child, who did not know what the Green party position was on an issue and had to ask Clint Smith, a spin doctor), eg Hey, Clint, are we pleased?

Hitman: Education Minister Chris Hipkins plans to eliminate Partnership schools Credit: Luke

Hitman Hipkins Minister of Education Chris Hipkins who, in a heartless manner, terminated the contracts of partnership/charter schools.

Hit job A term describing an attack on another political party, usually using the MSM or a political blog to get the message out. A hit job is one where there is a separation between the source of the story and the media that runs the story. For example, the Labour party have asked via email for Labour supporters to send them examples of personal problems with education or housing and then, a week or so later, negative stories about those topics appear in the MSM as if the people who complained came directly to them instead of to the Labour party.

I have the body of a finely tuned athlete A humorous way of saying that you are overweight.

Left-wing tears of impotent rage A phrase used when celebrating a Whaleoil triumph. It means we have succeeded in upsetting people on the left and there is nothing they can do about it. (Apart from creating a conspiracy to hack us in an attempt to subvert an election, of course.)

Lycra force field The magical force field that protects Lycra-clad cyclists from harm because they think that the road rules do not apply to them. Examples include cyclists who run red lights and get hit as a result.

Kumara Bill Refers to the previous leader of the National party who loves kumara chips and spaghetti-topped pizza.

Man ban The Labour party proposed an enforced 50% female quota, which would have meant the forced ejection of a number of male MPs. Whaleoil coined the term man ban, which was adopted by the media.

Man card A term used for when someone does something usually considered unmanly, eg buying a pink car or eating tofu or mung beans.

Martyn Martin Bradbury A nickname coined for the blogger Martyn Bradbury after Whaleoil revealed that he was enrolled to vote under two different names on the electoral roll for two elections. He was enrolled as both Martyn Bradbury and Martin Bradbury.

Source image The J. Paul Getty Museum. The Vicomtesse de Vaudreuil
Photoshopped image credit: Pixy

Minister of dodgy meetingsClare Curren as the newly appointed Labour Minister of Open and Transparent government soon showed in 2018 that she was the complete opposite. She was exposed for holding secret, undocumented meetings.

Mr Jan Trotman A nickname for Winston Peters.

MSM Mainstream media

Mr X is Colin Craig and the interviewer who interviewed Colin Craig, who was also Colin Craig. Mr X and the interviewer were in a pamphlet posted out to every home in New Zealand by Colin Craig. The interviewer interviewed Mr X and the transcript of the conversation between Mr X and the interviewer was in the pamphlet. Mr X used foul language and referred to Cameron as Cam.

Colin Craig told the media that Mr X was someone who knew Cameron Slater well. Media speculated about who Mr X was. Some thought he was Martyn Bradbury. Colin Craig was later forced to admit that Mr X was a made-up persona and the interviewer who interviewed him was also himself. He called it creative licence. We called it defamation.

To be continued…

Credit: Luke