Town Clarke and stardust

We awoke on Sunday morning to the news that Scott Morrison had won the Australian general election, trouncing Bill Shorten and the Labour party in an unexpected and emphatic victory.

We also woke to two puff pieces, one about Jacinda and one about Clarke.

Could the two events be in any way connected? quote.

He’s got a silver skull ring on his right hand and visible crimson cuts on his fingers. Fish spikes, he says later, slightly toxic – they can make your hands puffy.

The first man, first bloke, first dad, first man of fishing: in the absence of an official title for the partner (now fiance) of the New Zealand Prime Minister, Gayford has been called them all. Let the record show he does not have a preferred title.

“I kinda just roll my eyes, ‘OK, that’s fine’,” he says. Besides, “you can never pick your own nickname, because that’s a disaster”.

Stuff. end quote.

You are welcome to read the rest of the article yourself… I have to admit that I didn’t.

I really wonder why we keep having to put up with these dreadful ‘first family’ articles. At least it was identified as belonging in the Entertainment section, but really… who cares? Has no man ever been involved in the bringing up of his child before?

On the same day, we also had an article about how Jacinda said no to being the Labour leader for 4 days… in August 2017. That is almost 2 years ago, and can hardly be described as news, so why exactly are we hearing about it now? Why are we being reminded of our own election, disaster that it was? quote.

Ardern said after Andrew Little suggested she replace him as leader she said no for four days.

He had said to her – just before she was due to enter the debating chamber at question time – “I don’t know if I can do it”, meaning turn public opinion in support of Labour before the 2017 election.

She said she pushed back against Little’s wanting her to become leader but eventually he didn’t give her a choice and made a captain’s call.

A newspaper. end quote.

Gee, those captain’s calls again. I don’t believe a word of this though. Jacinda agreed to become Labour leader – at least that is what we were told at the time. Now she didn’t agree to it? Both situations can’t be right.

Why two puff pieces on the same day? Could it be anything to do with Labor’s catastrophic loss in Australia overnight?

The media decided to remind us that we have a wonderful princess and first bloke in residence over here, so we must not get any ideas that those dreadful Aussies might have got this one right. What if voters over here start to think about doing the same thing? We couldn’t have that, could we?

In typical, gracious Ardern fashion, Jacinda admitted on Sunday morning that she had ‘not had time’ to call Scott Morrison to congratulate him on his stunning victory.

Somehow, I can’t help thinking she would have found the time had the call been to Bill Shorten, although I’m not quite sure why I say that. In fact, had the results been different, I’m sure she would have called Shorten on Saturday night. That is normally what would happen.

Australia is always the first to come to our aid when we are in trouble. I will never forget how, a matter of hours after the 2011 Christchurch earthquake, the first planeload of Australian search and rescue personnel landed in New Zealand. Those are the gestures that we cannot put a price on, and they should transcend pettiness and political divisions.

However, I am guessing that Jacinda is now going to have to find some more refugees to hug, as it is unlikely that the Manus Island detainees will be coming our way anytime soon. Maybe that is what was keeping her away from her phone today.

Well done, Australia. As my esteemed colleague Lushington Brady says, the country dodged a bullet. Maybe in New Zealand, we will come to our senses and vote out this incompetent bunch of fools in 2020.

But if we do, it will be, once again, in spite of the fawning media. They will not give one inch to anyone except their princess and her attention seeking partner.

Nevertheless, there is hope. If the Aussies can do it, so can we.