Don’t let us catch you running with scissors, either!

British police have become a bumbling clown show that would be comedy gold if the results weren’t so serious. Moronic social engineers like Hope Not Hate have emasculated the boys in blue and Britain is falling apart. Ethno-religious rape gangs perpetrate industrial-scale child molestation for decades while authorities wring their hands about racism. Knife crime in London is skyrocketing, while its mayor babbles platitudes about deadly terrorism being just “part and parcel of life in a big city”.

Radio host Julia Hartley-Brewer rightly pilloried a PC pillock for his bizarre determination to police “non-crime”. The Met confiscate spoons. But that’s just the tip of the iceberg that is the dumb-arsedness of modern British policing.

In response to skyrocketing levels of knife crime in the United Kingdom, Nottinghamshire Police unveiled this week an unorthodox plan to offer blunt knives to victims of domestic violence to replace the sharp ones currently in their homes.

The pilot program will result in 100 “no point” knives being given to individuals who have been attacked or threatened with knives, The Independent reported. The victims would need to consent to having their knives replaced as the program is not mandatory.

But will they be able to keep their Good Scissors?

Superintendent Matt McFarlane, the new knife crime strategy manager appointed to oversee the scheme, said police “see a fair amount of knife-related incidents in domestic abuse, not just on the streets.”

“This is a measure we need to take,” he said in a statement. “We want to reduce that risk. It is a trial. We have about 100 of them – and we have so far given out about 50. The knife is blunt at the end – but still functions as a knife – so you can’t stab someone.”

“We are trialling it to see if it makes a difference. Sometimes you have to trial things to see if they work,” McFarlane added.

And sometimes you can just tell that something is absolutely bollocks-stupid without having to try it. I wonder if McFarlane has tested out sticking forks in powerpoints, just to see if it’s as risky as his mummy said?

Of course, no outbreak of official cretinism is complete without dodgy statistics.

More than 17 percent of all incidents reported to Nottinghamshire Police involve domestic violence knife crime.

Which means that more than 80% of them don’t. Perhaps the Plod might be better off concentrating on those?

The reception to Nottinghamshire police’s plan has been mixed….Users on social media blasted the plan as “pointless.”

“Hey why don’t we also put padding on the walls & doors so when the abuser is smashing his victim’s head of it, it will leave just a little mark as opposed to the usual broken nose & black eyes!!. This may just be one of the maddest things i’ve ever heard; absolutely mental!” wrote one user.

And some Twitter commenters were even more blunt.

“Literally the same stupid advice I was given when my daughter attempted suicide. She then went on to use a key, a sharpened stick and then took pills. Luckily all failed. Deal with the actual problem, not this box ticking, condescending, useless nonsense,” tweeted one user…

In May, London police officers were ruthlessly mocked after tweeting out a photo that triumphantly announced they’d confiscated a spoon and a butter knife in a “dangerous” weapons bust.


Unfortunately, the consequences of these comically useless ‘initiatives’ are much less than funny. Violent crime is reaching epidemic proportions in London. When the rule of law is a joke, why would anyone bother taking the law seriously?