The Sunday Roast

Who did the readers give a good old Kiwi roasting this week? 

There is vegan mince, vegan bacon (fried banana peel – yuk), vegan sausages, vegan chicken and now – welcome to the first vegan roast; none other than self-appointed saviour of the planet – James Cameron. Tuck in.

Unsurprisingly the full blooded meat eating fraternity at Whaleoil were not impressed with James telling us what we needed to do in order for dietary habits to offset his jet-setting carbon footprint.

Sunshine, Boondecker and Fred too all commented on how unhealthy looking Cameron and his wife appeared.

SouthernSheepMan rightly pointed out that the trend today is towards ‘natural’.

He’s actually created an enemy larger than he’d imagine. People like natural. Vegan meat substitute is anything but.

MrHippo wondered about the vegans’ almond milk:

I thought that the almonds that these types use for their fake milk used something like 10x the water of real milk, massive amounts of herbicide, pesticide and fertiliser, and were a leading cause of water shortages in California

But Christie suggested that he should not use facts:

That is true, but never let the facts get in the way of a good vegan, eh?

Wibble, unsurprisingly, is not impressed with Mr Cameron:

Isn’t he just the perfect illustration of a chardonnay socialist? He lives the high life, a country shopper, a Canadian who now lives in the US and New Zealand as well, “Oh look, this is a quaint little country down here, let’s buy it honey”. “But it’s full of ignorant hicks dear”. “No matter, we’ll soon sort that out”.

He has a carbon footprint the size of Texas, buying farms everywhere, including one with an environmentally protected lake in the Wairarapa. But he was given special permission to buy it because, well, he’s a watermelon, and it’s OK when the left do it.

And now after a good sip of Wairarapa Pinot Noir, it’s become: “If they won’t convert to socialism and veganism, then by golly we will just have to take away their right to vote, No Democracy For You!, ignorant deplorable peasants!”. Yep, he’ll fit right in with Jacinda’s chardonnay socialist plans.

Nor was Arthur:

Cameron is typical of a few things common to this wealthy indulgent type.

  1. He enters a country, buys up large, flatters the people with saying how great they are and their country too and then when settled in wants to change it all to something they are not thus contradicting all the things they liked in the first place.
  2. He makes the mistake, like Gareth Morgan and others, that wealth and/or fame must make you more intelligent, a better person and more aware than others. It does not.
  3. Fame and wealth means they must have the right to remake everything in their own image. In other words God syndrome.

The worse thing is gullible media dopes buy into this nonsense and give these know-it-alls air time.

Cameron, his wife and others are unfortunately just the nice face of the vile UN globalisation “New World Order” that wants us all as a homogeneous controlled mass in the UN controlled termite mound eating plastic fake food and Vegan gruel while paying homage to the new masters.

But with these types, mockery is the best medicine, and so a few new film plots were hatched in the minds of Bob Down and KatB:

A love story of a couple adrift in a sea of tofu. The solar electric powered ship strikes a ginormous CGI white Iceberg lettuce which has been washed out of a field in the Wairarapa as a result of man made global wetting and then has been washed to the North Atlantic unnoticed, borne on new powerful currents created by increased turtle numbers now that the Sargasso Sea has been cleaned up and there are no longer pack hunting single use plastic bags killing the gentle sea creatures and baby pandas.
Credit: KatB & Bob Down
(KatB did wonder, though, about the wisdom of using lithium batteries in a ship that sinks.)

A civilisation dying from their planet’s toxic masculinity only to be saved by moving to an avocado plantation.
Credit: KatB

Pulp Friction
A new blockbuster where beautiful young couples who work in a giant juice factory together have to produce babies to repopulate the orange grove workers to supply the worlds largest butterfly powered orange juicing machine, but the workers take to the repopulating so enthusiastically that they forget to lubricate… the machine, and it overheats: tentatively titled Pulp Friction.
Credit: Bob Down

Other working titles yet to be ‘fleshed’ out were The Mung Ones, Berry Mason – Detective, Welcome Back Oater, The Greenfather, and Schindler’s Lettuce.