Climate Emergency Survival Pack


Humour ( not an actual product)

With some New Zealand councils recently declaring Climate Emergencies, the Blog team realised that it was time to put together a Climate Emergency Survival pack.

The first item included in our pack is a highly sophisticated rain, snow, flooding and sun gauge made from 100% organic materials and based on the below design.

WH pointed out that with all the expected hot weather a delicious drink should also be included.

Bahama Mama

Our pack includes everything you need to whip up a Bahama Mama which is a delicious tropical cocktail. A fruity beverage, it blends 151 proof coconut rum, coffee liqueur, coconut liqueur, fresh lemon or orange juice and a generous amount of pineapple juice. Try it frozen for a cool treat.

For those prepared to spend a little more our pack includes ( in any colour you want as long as it’s yellow) this sporty wood-gas fueled car. How exactly it helps save the environment I am unsure but WH is keen to get it out of his garage and into a new owner’s hands so who am I to argue?

With all the temperatures rising it is going to be BBQ season all year around so our pack also includes the Whale Meat Company BAA BAA QUE meat box.


The Baa Baa Que contains:

  • 1kg Lamb Mid-loin Chops
  • 1.5kg Butterflied Lamb Leg
  • 4 pieces Lamb Rumps (Cap On)
  • 2 x 500g Lamb Mince
  • 500g Eye Bacon

The final item in our pack was recommended by exPFC who thinks that a Tazer pulse electric stun gun is just the ticket for keeping the roaming Vegan hordes away from your meat and your ice-cold Bahama Mama.

The entire pack ( apart from the car) will be delivered inside a thick plastic recycled plastic bag from Countdown. At no extra cost, we will also throw in a packet of turtle snorkels because someone needs to think of the turtles.