Humourless Twat of the Week

Oh, how I hate Facebook! But I love it too. On one hand, I can see some of the bestest, funniest memes ever made and copy and paste them into our awesome and popular Non PC Jokes post ready for Monday evening and you will all laugh, sometimes out loud, or perhaps even accidentally snort as you get the joke, and it makes everyone’s life just that little bit happier.

But on the other hand, I have to see the wets complaining about people putting jokes on community pages. Perhaps we could have a Humourless Twat of the Week post every week? I’ll start.

This week, on a slightly interesting community Facebook page that I frequent; where one can learn all about the latest in today’s dog pooping concerns; where all the wandering cows are at and, if you’re lucky, just exactly where you might find a JP tomorrow to witness that certified copy of that really important document that you should have already organised but left to the last minute so now have to ask the same damn question that a hundred people before you have already asked… We find an interesting little discussion that highlighted one particular Humourless Twat. (Caution, may not be an actual twat, I’m only going off this one thing but I’m going to run with it anyway!)

You see, on that page in particular, there is a funny bloke called Mady (yes he knows it’s a girls name and isn’t particularly bothered, but thanks for pointing it out). Mady is an A Grade clever bugger. For an idea of his humour, think of our own ‘Wibble’ but with a girl’s name, but he’s not Wibble, cause I asked him if he’s the same person and he said he wasn’t.

Much as Wibble does, Mady pops irreverent comment into everyday posts about ordinary things. He sometimes even posts a joke just for the sheer fun of it. And 99% of people love it, because a little bit of fun and sillyness is actually good for you. I’m pretty sure that there was a study that said laughter is actually the best medicine; I think I read it somewhere on the web and, as we all know, 99% of everything on the internet is legit.

This week, Mady popped this wee cracker on the page.

I’m so bored. It’s my silver wedding anniversary, so I bought a map of the world and put it on the wall, gave my beloved wife a dart and said: “Wherever the dart lands we will holiday for two weeks!!”. Well, now we are camped out near the skirting board in the laundry for a fortnight….

Well, personally I thought that was pretty funny. But not one Johnathan [redacted]. Poor humourless Johnathan couldn’t stop himself complaining.

Not these jokes again

…cried Johnathan, who then goes on to state just how offensive it is to have humour inserted into his beloved Community Page which is absolutely NOT the place for such frivolity. NO GIGGLING FOR YOU! So what do you say to such a thing? Mady replies…

Jonathan if you think you’re annoyed,
I recently took a poll, and 99% of the respondents were annoyed when their tents fell down..

Now I reckon that’s pretty funny too, you know, not abusive, not even backing up your side of the argument, just simply responding with another witty comeback. So what do we hear back from poor ‘NoFun-athan’?

Mady [Surname redacted to protect his modesty] you didn’t take a poll. Most folk are also afraid to speak up cause they don’t like confrontation. This is a community page not a jokes page can’t you post these to your family and friends

Oh dear. Some people just don’t get humour.

Johnathan, I realise that explaining is losing, but, well, the ‘poll’ is a play on words. You know, like a tent pole, and when he took it, the tents fell down. Oh I give up. Anyway, Johnathan [redacted], congratulations, you sir are our very first Humourless Twat of the Week.

I would send him a certificate but he’s got his Facebook set to a private, no snoop mode.

Having a Snoop are we?? My page and information is none of your business if you are not my friend.

It’s ok Johnathan, I don’t feel the need to have you on my friends list, I only have people on mine that can actually take a joke.

Now, did I ever tell you the one about…

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