The Tell-Tale Fart

In Edgar Allen Poe’s classic gothic tale, The Tell-Tale Heart, a mysterious heart-beat drives a murderer to confess to his crime. In a recent case in Missouri, it was a tell-tale fart that gave away a fugitive’s hiding place.

Law enforcement were hunting down a fugitive wanted for possession of a controlled substance. The devious criminal was successfully hiding from the long arm of the law when an uncontrolled substance of his own gave away his hiding place.

“If you’ve got a felony warrant for your arrest, the cops are looking for you and you pass gas so loud it gives up your hiding spot, you’re definitely having a shit day,” Clay County Sheriff’s Office wrote.

Presumably, the cops had only to follow the trail of Pepe le Peu’s cartoon-stink and they had their man.

The Liberty, Missouri, Police Department’s only statement was: “The Liberty Police Department was surprised to see this incident slip out, which stinks for the arrestee. Fortunately, no one was injured during his arrest”.

Rumours that the offender and fellow prisoner Bobby-Joe “Bubba” Dobbs are now entertaining other inmates with their shower-room impersonation of a slide-trombone could not be confirmed.

A police artist’s description of the suspect.

In a related story of criminal flatulence, a Kansas City drugs felon put an abrupt end to police questioning with the power of his anal acoustics.

Sean A. Sykes Jr., 25, was being questioned by a detective after being caught as a passenger in a car where drugs and stolen firearms were found. The interviewing detective recorded that, when he asked for Sykes’ address, “Mr. Sykes leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering with the address. Mr. Sykes continued to be flatulent and I ended the interview”.

Apparently, the Fifth Amendment doesn’t include a “He Who Smelt It, Dealt It” clause, and Sykes was later convicted.

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