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What Do You Call a Tribe of Activists?

Hooray! Jacinda finally achieved something that’s not a new tax or ban. She’s managed to turn a cluster of rocks into a cluster of other sorts and in doing so, given life to a whole new autonomous and diverse tribe.

That tribe definitely needs a name – encompassing Maori and non-Maori, Pacifica and even an occasional Australian; misfits, marxists and ‘activists’ (same thing) all; so an ancestral, mono-cultural inspired hand-me-down won’t do. It needs to be something which celebrates such diversity.

Dear Leader’s intervention has made things worse, much worse, for all concerned at Ihumatao with actual skin in the game. As for her plans to produce some form of magical compromise for all, if she could just figure it out, well, here’s a clue, Ms Ardern – there is zero compromise to be had. It’s a fight, there must be a winner and a loser, there are no prizes for participating.

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Good Morning; I’m From Stuff, and I’m Here to Help

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Satire

I’m here to help you right-wing, nut-job, conspiracy-theory, alternative-fact, tin-hat wearing deplorables because, believe me, you need it.

We at Stuff, the saviours of the entire huperson race, have declared a Climate Emergency and you people don’t appear to be taking it seriously, at all. Shame on you. Now, thanks to you fossil-fuel fan-girls and boys the ARCTIC IS ON FIRE!!! Did you hear me? THE ICE is ON FIRE!!! All thanks to you and your global warming.

See what you’ve done, are you happy now?

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Stuff Up Special Edition

Crikey; you can learn so much from the newspaper.

I cannot understand the accelerating circulation decline of the Dominion Post. The latest ABC audit has it at an annualised rate of minus 14.2%, yet you can be so enlightened by opening its pages. You can learn, for instance, never to have an idiot reporter interview a pretentious academic because this train-wreck of falsehoods and fallacies is the result:

Stuff Up Special Edition.
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Hello Cognitive, Have You Met Dissonance?

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Satire

My name is Weibe Wakker, and I empty the pockets of stupid people. You won’t believe how clever I am. All I have to do is claim to drive an electrically-motivated car from coal-fire generated electricity Holland to across the world, taking advantage en-route of the gas-fired electricity of the Middle East, the coal-fired electricity of India, then the gas and coal and palm-oil fired electricity of Indonesia to my destination in coal-fired electricity Australia to prove how sustainable my clean ‘electricity-powered’ VW Golf is [Cough].

I covered this route at the amazing rate of 82 kilometres per day! Yes! 50.9 miles per day; that’s faster than walking!

I have no idea what my carbon-footprint is from this folly, better not say.

Arriving at my intended destination after three long years (Thank the Lord I don’t have children screaming: Are we there yet?) I found myself hooked on business-class eco-welfare. I couldn’t believe how gullible some people are. I solicit, and receive, big bucks and free accommodation on my travels from the true believers who support my little joke, so I hopped on a boat with diesel-electric engines to get to truly gullible New Zealand where I sought out the ultra-gullible, and Yes! They were truly taken in.

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The Confiscation Blow-back Debacle

Advocates for liberty are watching New Zealand as we speak, quietly admiring the individual resistance (quite obviously on display) from members of the firearms owning community in, so far, failing to participate willingly in the confiscation of their devices.

Let me say, from the outset, I have no skin in the game as I have no firearm to lose. I am however very interested in individual liberty and from that stance can understand the admiration felt by some libertarian commenters, for the apparent stand being taken individually, quietly, and stubbornly by those not abiding by the government directive.

Just in the space of the last seven days three posts caught my eye, each with a slightly different take on what this resistance means, each looking for clues in the character of the New Zealander standing by his or her rifle, or into the character of a government which determined it would make criminals of the law-abiding, in response to an event the targeted group had nothing whatsoever to do with.

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Jeremy Hunt Speaks with Forked Tongue

Behold: the snake speaks! Isn’t it amazing how the creature finds a voice for Christians in perfect timing for his run at the role of prime minister?

“The report highlights the shocking impunity with which discriminatory laws, fear and violence are used by state and non-state actors to discriminate appallingly against Christians in countries across the world.”

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Snitches Unleashed

Can you hear that sound? It’s the sound of Socialist jackboots arriving with a whole army of snitches, and they’re coming for you first, Facebook user. They arrive on Tuesday.

The political left has always been enamoured of informers. It’s believed the East German Stasi had a roll of close to 200,000 of them. Under Soviet control, Russia had so many that every single conversation, public and private, had to be guarded, turning citizen against citizen.

That the prime minister of New Zealand has a part to play, as a puppet, in this new and extremely sinister development is a disgrace to our nation. Believing she was ‘doing something’ in the wake of the Christchurch abomination, she got sucked in; she became but a ‘useful idiot’ in a plan that had already been worked on for nearly a year by the French regime under socialist Macron. He even used her ‘star power’ and the Christchurch incident as a pretext while announcing the set of evil regulations he expects to pass this coming week.

Under Macron’s proposal, and with the full cooperation of Facebook in a capitulation reversing presumed privacy, all the snitches will have to do is stomp a button which will be appended to all Facebook posts in France asking “Does this post contain hate speech?” and immediately the poster becomes a ‘suspect’. It is a cowardly collusion simply to further Zuckerberg’s business interests in Europe and is an extreme betrayal of users’ trust,

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Happy Freedom of Expression Day Oilers

If you sensed the ground trembling just a little yesterday; relax. It was nothing to be concerned about. It was just the combined chair, board, executive members, lawyers, sponsors and insurers of the Australian Rugby Union shaking in their collective boots.

From the Court of Appeal at the Royal Courts of Justice, London. 3 July 2019:

This case concerns the expression of religious views, on a public social media platform, disapproving of homosexual acts.

The mere expression of views on theological grounds (e.g. that ‘homosexuality is a sin’) does not necessarily connote that the person expressing such views will discriminate on such grounds. In the present case, there was positive evidence to suggest that the Appellant had never discriminated on such grounds in the past and was not likely to do so in the future (because, as he explained, the Bible prohibited him from discriminating against anybody) […]


The Respondant failed to appreciate two matters. First, failing to appreciate that the Appellant’s apparent intransigence was an understandable reaction to being told something that he found incomprehensible, namely that he could never express his deeply held religious views in any manner on any public forum […]

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Fly on the Wall of Sky TV

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Satirical content
Not an actual transcript

Grant Nisbett: Welcome back folks and thank you for joining us as we prepare for kick-off to start the second half here in the big one: ‘The Year of Delivery’. Joining me in the commentary box to talk about the first-half highlights is Dr Megan Woods, Member for Wigram. Good morning Dr Woods.

Ms Woods: Morena Grant. Happy Matariki to you.

Grant Nisbett: Well, it’s not Matariki though, is it Megan? Maori used a lunar calendar starting from the first full moon after Matariki appeared, so the day will actually be the 17th July.

Ms Woods: No, no. I assure you. It was the subject of my PhD thesis.

Grant Nisbett: Fair enough Megan. Bryce Edwards described you as having a hefty intellect in his column for Radio NZ the other day and I wouldn’t want to disagree with him, or you. Speaking of that particular adjective; it was also used to describe you by Stuff columnist Paul Gorman on Friday, talking of your ‘hefty workload’, it’s a word that falls naturally to you I think. Do you mind if we call you Hefty?

Ms Woods: Not at all.

Grant Nisbett: Well, Okay. Hefty it is. Bryce also described you as the ‘most left-leaning’ person in parliament, further left than the Greens, and given that your boss was a former head of Socialist Youth International, that’s really saying something.

Hefty: Thank you Comrade, and thanks to Bryce.

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Thoughts and Prayers

All prayers this morning, please direct to the unfortunate flailing reporter required to write something upbeat about the government bench ‘re-shuffle’ which achieved the admirable outcome of replacing a hand containing a pair of three’s with ditto two’s. (Don’t sneer, that’s not easy to do).

Trying to say something positive fell to Henry Cooke at Stuff, poor bugger, who offered the following bait: “She [Woods] has the luxury of designing a new version of KiwiBuild that is actually doable with the help of many officials and a relatively clean slate, something both Twyford and King did not enjoy. She’s written a PhD thesis on New Zealand urbanisation and housing between 1942 and 1969.”

Crikey! A thesis! A thesis on housing and urbanisation nonetheless. I was impressed; I wondered why, given her remarkable knowledge, she didn’t get the job in the first place. So I decided to track the thesis down to see what Labour had been missing but, I gotta’ tell ya’, it wasn’t easy. I called on parliament’s search engine and got a result on ‘PhD’:

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